What We Had
by Litfreak89
Summary: Sirius Black and Rachel Bartwell meet and experience a whirlwind romance. However, will life eventually tear them apart?
1. Islington

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters and situations **_**I**_** create!**_

_A/N: While writing "Ten More Minutes," I was asked to expand on the romance between Sirius Black and Rachel Howard (nee Bartwell) before/after Maria was born and Sirius was taken to Azkaban. __** AsphodelRose87**__, this is for you!_

_Just a reminder, I'm still taking beta requests! I love to read your stories before they're posted!_

* * *

"Sirius! Get your ass back here now!" Sirius Black smiled and turned to face his best friend, James Potter. They had just exited Platform 9 ¾ for the last time, having just completed their seventh year at Hogwarts, and although he was putting on a brave front, he knew he had to get away from his friends for a couple of weeks.

Throughout their time at the wizarding school, Sirius and James had been as thick as thieves. Sure, they had two other best friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, but there was something about the friendship shared between Padfoot and Prongs, the names they had given themselves once they had achieved their animagus forms a few years earlier. Even James's relationship with Lily Evans hadn't put a damper on their friendship; she was just as close to Sirius as James was.

_So why do I need to get away?_ The answer was obvious: _Voldemort._ Just thinking of that snake's name set Sirius's teeth on edge. He wasn't running away forever; he was going to return and join the Order of the Phoenix to fight Voldemort's rise to power, his slaughter of muggle borns like Lily. Plus, he had to be back by late July for James and Lily's wedding. With the war going on, they didn't want to wait too long.

"What do you want, Potter? I have places to be!" Sirius grinned at his friend before hugging Lily, who had just appeared beside her fiancé.

"And what, pray tell, is so important that you can't go grab a bite to eat at my parents' house, Sirius? You've never turned down one of my mum's meals." James slung an arm over his best friend's shoulder while holding Lily's hand. Remus had stayed behind at the Shrieking Shack (the full moon was hard on the werewolf), and Pettigrew had taken off quickly, stating that he had somewhere important he needed to be.

Sirius shrugged. "I'm heading to Islington for a while. Going to visit a few of my grade school mates. I haven't seen them in a couple of summers, I guess."

"You're not going to visit those parents of yours, are you, Sirius?" Lily had never met the Black family, but from hearing of how Sirius had shown up on James's doorstep at sixteen after running away and being disowned, she had already developed not-so-friendly feelings toward the family. Plus, the fact that every other Black family member sorted Slytherin and supported (allegedly) the Dark Lord was just another mark against them.

"You've got to be joking. Last I heard, my brother's a bloody Death Eater! No, I'm going to visit some friends, hang around the area for a while, and then I'll be back before your wedding. Tell your mum to please keep a bed open for me, will you? I'll need a place to crash until I'm working full-time with the Order."

James grinned. "Mate, your bed's never been closed. Just be careful, okay? And Sirius?"

"Yeah, mate?"

Lily spoke up. "Don't break too many girls' hearts. Find a nice one to bring to the wedding."

"That'll be the day. Unfortunately, James has already found the perfect girl. We're all just stuck with the leftovers."

James shook his head. "I have to write that down."

"Why?" Sirius was confused.

"For my best man's speech at your wedding. Your future wife, bless her soul, will love that!"

* * *

"Mum! I don't want to go to your stuffy friends' house! Why can't I just stay here? I'll invite Gina over where I won't be alone!"

Alice shook her head at her daughter. "Rachel Elizabeth Bartwell, you're going, and that's final. I don't like leaving you here while we're that far away overnight. You're a young lady, and I don't like leaving you defenseless. Plus, Nan and Paul haven't seen you since you were ten. They'd like to see how you've grown. They have a son…"

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Mum!" she exclaimed, exasperated again. "I just turned seventeen! Why do I need to meet the son of each of your friends? Don't you want me to go to college? Make something of myself?"

Her mother, who was a very happy housewife, said, "You're saying being a wife and mother means you're unsuccessful?"

"No, mum. I'm saying that it's not exactly what I want _now_. I want to be a nurse or something in the medical field. With all of these new disasters popping up everywhere, they need more and more people in the hospitals, and I'm only too happy to step in. That means I may not get married immediately."

Alice nodded. "Fine."

Rachel sighed. _At least I got out of that trip…_

"But you're still going to Islington with your father and me tomorrow."

_Shit._

* * *

Sirius looked around the pub, hoping to catch a glimpse of his friends. He had used the phone in the Leaky Cauldron to call them and make plans to meet that very night at another local pub a mile away. He looked at his watch and was just about to order some food when he felt a slap on his shoulder.

"Sirius Black! How long's it been, mate?" Sirius turned to see his best friend from the five years his pureblood parents had allowed him to attend the local private school. Although they felt he didn't _need_ muggle education because he was a Black, they didn't want him to have _any_ disadvantage. Plus, Sirius needed to learn how to read and write, and his parents had no time to teach him themselves.

"Benton Kirkland! Good to see you! I guess it's been two years? At least we're old enough to legally drink this time, right?"

"Legally being the key word, eh, Black? How've you been?" Benton had been Sirius's safe haven all throughout his time at the St. Thomas Academy for Boys. Thankfully, the school only went up to fifth grade, so no one thought it strange when Sirius went off to another school; however, Sirius was ashamed that he had estranged his friends so easily, especially Benton.

"Good. Finally graduated. You?"

"Same. Going into the Royal Air Force. I guess I need to keep the structure in my life. All of those private schools Mum and Dad shipped me off to did some good, I guess."

Sirius shook his head, laughing. "The RAF? Gods, mate. I'm glad my life is lacking that bit of structure. I liked my somewhat un-structured private school just fine. But I'm happy for you, Bent."

"Thanks. What plans do you have?" Benton waved his hands to order two glasses of the pub's specially imported ale, a favorite of both men, and an order of crisps. "Sorry. Dale and Kenny were held up at Dale's parents' house. Something about an 'obligation' to 'meet these young ladies.' You know how it is."

"Damn. I'm glad I don't deal with my parents anymore. I think Regulus is making the social rounds these days, but I never see him. I'm actually considering going over to the continent for schooling. I'm still weighing options."

The two friends continued to catch up while drinking and eating into the night, eventually joined by Dale Hayes and Kenneth (Kenny) Malian. The four drank, flirted with unsuspecting girls, and reminisced about summers past and future plans until very late. When Benton discovered that Sirius was staying at the Leaky Cauldron (or "that weird pub down the way"), he insisted that his friend stay with him until he returned to Godric's Hollow and James Potter.

Sirius and Benton stumbled to the Kirkland household where Benton was still living until he began his training in two weeks. They quietly(ish?) made their way into the house and up the stairs, depositing Sirius's bag in a guest room before preparing for bed. Sirius poked his head into Benton's room before slipping into his own room.

"Bent?"

"Yeah, mate?"

"Thanks." With this, Sirius backed out, closed the door, and shuffled half-drunkenly to his own room, thankful for friends, both magical and non-magical.

* * *

Rachel tackled her hair again in frustration. This was the third time her mother had sent her to do_ something_ with "that bird's nest" that currently resided on top of her head, but nothing was helping. Finally spotting a nice bandanna that matched her dress, she tied the cloth around her hair stylishly and walked out.

"Goodness, Rachel, you look like one of those hippies they're always talking about on the telly!" Alice looked appalled.

"Mum, this is the only way I could control it! You know how my hair hates London humidity!"

Another sigh. "At least it's not sticking up everywhere, and the bandanna _does _match your outfit. Fine. Let's get your father and get on the road. The Welkins are expecting us in an hour." Alice turned to go into the den to retrieve Christopher, Rachel's father, and soon the three were in the family's car headed to Islington.

After a tiring hour in the Welkins' company, Rachel dragged her mother to the side and begged to be allowed to walk around the area for a while. Appreciative that the girl had made an effort to come at all, Alice agreed, telling her daughter to stay within a few blocks and suggesting a coffee shop down the road that served lunch after giving Rachel some money to buy said food.

"Thanks, Mum. I owe you!" Rachel slowly left the house, allowing her mother to make excuses for her with the hosts.

* * *

The trip to Islington was generally unexciting until she reached the coffee shop. After ordering a sandwich and some tea, Rachel looked around and found the only available seat across from an unknown male wearing all black. She timidly sat down and watched the man.

"Hey, babe. Bring those stunning legs back this way, and let's see how long they _really are_!"

"Hey gorgeous, come to get lost in my bottomless blue eyes?"

Rachel rolled her black eyes; while the color was not average, they obviously weren't as outstanding as the gentleman's across from her. She choked down her sandwich as he continued to hassle each woman worth a second look who passed his way. Rachel finally had enough. She cleared her throat.

* * *

Sirius was bored, so he did what he usually did while bored: _complimented _young, good-looking ladies. All girls liked a nice admirer every now and then, right? However, muggle girls who were oblivious to his wizarding capabilities and his small fortune (thanks to dear, late Uncle Alphard) were much harder to _woo_ than witches at Hogwarts.

Just as he was about to attempt to flatter the brunette heading his way, he heard a slight sound that sounded like a throat clearing to his right. He turned his head, shocked to find a dark-skinned, black-eyed beauty with a bright blue bandanna that matched her sundress wrapped around her head sitting at his table with him. Recovering quickly, he smirked.

"Sirius Black. Now, you're too pretty for me _not_ to know your name."


	2. The Insufferable Mr Black

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the situations and characters **_**I **_**create!**_

_A/N: Maybe this one will take off like the other one did: slowly. I'm not anticipating this fic to be as long as my first because it has a predetermined end, but I'm going to try to make it as interesting as possible! Stick with me!_

* * *

"Sirius Black. Now, you're too pretty for me _not_ to know your name."

Rachel raised her eyebrow. _This guy has a lot of nerve._ She took a moment to examine the boy in front of her. _Not boy…Sirius Black was most certainly a man_. He was wearing dark blue jeans that looked black from a distance and a black button-up shirt. His dark hair hung to his shoulders, and he had the beginnings of a goatee on his face. Although slightly intimidated by those "bottomless" blue eyes, Rachel took a sip of her drink before answering. "I'm Rachel. You seem pretty sure of yourself, Mr. Black."

Sirius mirrored her action, raising his own eyebrow as if surprised by her comment. "Why, Miss Rachel, I merely compliment beauty when I see it. I feel as if women deserved to be aware of how lovely they are at all times. It just so happens that they usually respond positively to me in return. I guess they like the tall, dark, and handsome look in a bloke, eh?"

"Tall, dark, and handsome, are you? Normally, I'd agree with you, but a cock-sure attitude seems to take away from attractiveness for me. I'm not saying you don't have attractive features, but the self-assuredness is just a little over-the-top for my taste." Rachel was enjoying toying with this stranger entirely too much. She was certain her mother did not have this in mind when she sent her off in a strange town alone.

"Cock-sure? I guess that could be used to describe me. However, a know-it-all attitude can also be a turn-off in a young lady. You need to keep that bitter edge out of your voice if you ever want to attain a proper gentleman caller." Sirius had just enough smile in his voice to let Rachel know he was playing her game.

"What makes you think I don't have a 'proper gentleman caller,' as you so eloquently put it, Mr. Black?"

"You're here flirting with me."

* * *

Sirius grinned as Rachel's self-satisfied look left her face. She was a wonderful player with a decent poker face, but his last comment had shown just how innocent his table companion truly was. However, she recovered quickly.

"Flirting, Mr. Black? I'm here stating facts. I don't appreciate women being objectified."

"Objectified?"

"Treated like things, objects. We're humans, just like you men are. Don't treat us like dolls or toys for your entertainment. Not all of us appreciate it." Sirius (inwardly, as to not provoke her anger further) grinned. He liked this girl.

"I know what objectification is, Rachel." He dropped the "Miss." It sounded ridiculous without a last name, which she was obviously refusing to give him at the moment. "I have a female friend who has accused me of the same crime many times throughout my time at school, and she has the same sentiments as you. I promise you, though, I do not objectify women. I know very much that you are humans. I realize that each time each one screams out my name. Objects can't do that, you know."

Rachel's mocha-colored skin looked blushed, obviously thrown off her game again. He was enjoying himself entirely too much, unaware his companion was having the exact same thoughts about herself. Once again, though, Rachel recovered.

"Your friend sounds brilliant; you should listen to her."

Changing the subject, Sirius looked into those interesting black eyes; he had never seen any quite as dark. "So, Rachel, are you from Islington? My family's from this area, but I've never seen you around, and I feel like I'd have remembered your lovely face."

Rachel raised her eyebrow again, confused by the change of subject. "No...My parents are visiting friends in the area. I grew bored and decided to entertain myself by exploring the area. Seems I failed, eh?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty entertained myself." Sirius gave Rachel a grin, which she seemingly begrudgingly returned. "Who knew when I sat down here that I'd be joined by a lovely young stranger who could keep up with my wit? I might have to visit this coffee shop more often!"

"Do you live around here?"

Sirius contemplated how to answer her. Technically, he was still a Black, and the Black family home was in Islington. However, his parents had effectively disowned him two years ago, hence his presence at the Potter household. The Potters had taken the sixteen-year-old Sirius in after he had arrived on their doorstep one evening and had not looked back since. He'd be eternally grateful to James's entire family, especially his mother. James's father had died two years earlier.

"Sirius? Did you leave me?"

Sirius was jerked back to his present company. Rachel was looking at him with a perplexed look on her face.

"Sorry. I was trying to figure out how exactly to answer you. My parents live in Islington, but I'm not exactly on speaking terms with them right now. I'm here visiting some grade school chums for a few days before heading back to Godric's Hollow."

Rachel seemed to understand not to ask about his parents. "Godric's Hollow? I don't believe I've ever heard it."

"It's a small, remote town close to Devon. I'm staying with my best friend and his family until his wedding in July." Rachel brightened at the word "wedding," and she began questioning him about it. He was only too happy to talk about James and Lily, leaving out obvious details such as the fact that they were all wizards and witches, that they were all joining an underground organization called the Order of the Phoenix that made it a priority to defeat Voldemort, a dark wizard bent on having purebloods in charge. Sirius felt it unnecessary to mention these minute details.

"James and Lily sound wonderful. It seems as if you love them very much."

"I do. They've saved my ass more times than I can count. Well, Lily has. James was usually right there with me with his own ass in the fire." Sirius smiled at the memories flying through his mind.

Rachel gathered her trash, cleaning the area around her plate and teacup. Looking at her watch, she gasped. "Oh my! I've been here over an hour! I have to get back to my parents!"

"Who are their friends? Could I escort you back? At least walk you to their door…?"

Rachel bit her lip and seemed to be considering his offer. _I don't seem so annoying to her anymore_, Sirius thought happily. She didn't seem like such a know-it-all anymore either. If anything, she reminded him of Lily. Her fiery attitude was more befitting of his friend's red hair than the black hair hidden under the blue bandanna.

"I guess it couldn't hurt, right?"

* * *

_What the hell was I thinking? Letting this strange guy walk me home? God, please don't let Mum…no, Dad…ugh…shit…_Rachel was kicking herself as the two left the still-busy coffee shop, Sirius looking like the cat who ate the canary. He promised her he was only escorting her home because she was too pretty to be walking by herself on these streets; someone might be less kind than him and take advantage of her.

Rachel and Sirius, although the walk started out somewhat awkward, fell into the easy conversation that began back at the restaurant. Taking a shortcut down an alleyway behind the coffee shop, Sirius stopped and reached out to tug on Rachel's hand.

"Rachel." The girl stopped and turned around, looking in Sirius's blue eyes and catching her breath. _Damn…_ "I, uh, I've really enjoyed talking to you today."

Covering up her nervousness, Rachel attempted to put on a smirk that would rival one of her companion's. "Is that uncertainty I hear, Mr. Black?"

Smiling, Sirius shook his head. "Miss Know-It-All is back, I see. Oh well, I was beginning to miss her. Honestly, though, Rachel, you're different than those girls I was, what did you say…? Objectifying? I do apologize if that's what it seems I was doing. I guess I was. You though…I'm glad you arrived to set me straight."

Rachel was confused. Was this just a ploy to get into her knickers? She liked Sirius too much already; she couldn't allow this to happen. "I'm glad to, Sirius. But I must…" she began, going to walk away. Sirius, suddenly understanding what she must be thinking, pulled her back softly.

"Rachel, no." He caught her eyes again, pulling her under the blue depths. "I'm not just laying this pile of shit on you to impress you." He stopped, thinking. "Wow, that sounded romantic, didn't it? Anyway, what I mean was that I'm not saying this to get anything out of you. You really did make me see how insensitive I am. Lily's been telling me for the last two or three years, but I thought that she was just…_Lily_. But now that I can see that it's apparent to a perfect stranger, emphasis on the _perfect_, mind you, I know something's there."

"Sirius, that means a lot. I'm really glad that I helped you…somehow…today. You're a great guy, and I wish you the best." Rachel reached up to kiss him on his cheek, needed some final contact before she escaped his allure forever. Instead, Sirius saw what she was going to do and turned his head, catching her lips with his.

To say she was surprised was an understatement. Was she disappointed? _ Hell no_. Sirius was obviously experienced in this department, and he confirmed those suspicions as he softly pushed Rachel against the wall, running a hand along the back of her neck, leaving a burning trail in its wake. His tongue ran across her lips, and she willingly opened her mouth, letting him in. In a span of two hours, Sirius Black had knocked down her defenses more quickly than any other boy could have ever dreamed.

Rachel allowed her hands to run down his chiseled chest. Obviously, this man took care of himself. _Damn, he smells good. _Rachel inhaled slightly and took in the scent of his cologne, knowing the brand and slightly raising her eyebrows at the expense. Finally, when the two couldn't breathe any more, they broke apart and stared at each other, each willing the other to break the silence. Rachel obliged.

"I have to get back to my parents. They're going to be sick with worry."

* * *

"Rachel!" Sirius felt like an idiot, running down the sidewalk, chasing a girl he had been snogging only five minutes earlier. Despite the thoughts that had gone through Rachel's mind about his body, Sirius did not "take care of himself." He was out of shape, although his figure didn't show it. "Please, come back here! We need to talk!"

Rachel, who was currently going full-speed down the sidewalk near her parents' friends' house, finally slowed. She turned and looked at Sirius. "What do we need to talk about?"

"What…do…we…? Hold on!" Sirius caught his breath. He had to get on a more strenuous exercise regiment if he planned on joining the Order. "That kiss, Rachel. I don't kiss and leave. I flirt, yes, but my relationships are important to me."

"Relationship? What relationship? We don't have a 'relationship,' Sirius! We met a little over two hours ago!" Rachel looked mad, but for what reason, Sirius didn't know.

"Yet."

"Come again?"

"We don't have a relationship _yet_. I'd like to try if you would. That kiss wasn't nothing, Rachel."

"Rachel what?"

"Huh?"

"Rachel what? What's my last name?" Rachel raised her eyebrow again, testing the still-heavily breathing man.

"I don't know! You never did tell me!"

"Do you regularly kiss girls without knowing their last names?"

"Do you regularly kiss blokes without _telling_ them your last name?"

He had her there. Her argument faded, and her shoulders slumped. "Damn you, Sirius Black. Fine, my name is Rachel Elizabeth Bartwell, and I live in Beaconsfield, which is roughly an hour, hour and a half from here. I'm an only child, and I'm seventeen years old. I'm going into my final year at school, and afterwards, I plan on going into the medical field, probably as a nurse. These disasters have been hell on us these last few years, and I want to do my part to help out."

Sirius was stunned. She knew nothing of magic or Voldemort, but she was still planning on doing her part to help out the Light, the ones fighting him. These _disasters_ were just Death Eater attacks in disguise. The muggle prime minister had wizards and witches on staff to make sure everything was covered up properly. That to the side, Sirius looked at Rachel with new eyes.

"My name is Sirius Black. I graduated a week ago from a small private school in Scotland, and I plan on going to college on the continent in the fall (_lie)_. My parents and brother live here in Islington, but I haven't spoken to them since I was sixteen as they have, in essence, disinherited me. I currently live in Godric's Hollow with my best friend, James, and I will be best man at his wedding next month. My uncle left me well-off when he died, so I'll never truly be without money, if that makes a difference. I hope it doesn't. To most girls…oomph…" Sirius was cut off by Rachel cutting off his circulation, her soft lips on his once again. He leaned into the kiss, letting instinct take over. He pulled back a second, though, to ask, "Was it the fact that my uncle left me a lot of money that turned you on?" He was hoping it wasn't.

"Money? What money?" Rachel searched his eyes, and he could tell she was telling the truth. "I honestly didn't hear a word you said. I was working up my courage to kiss you again." Rachel smiled as Sirius leaned back into the kiss, and they would have stood there enjoying one another much longer had it not been for a pronounced, "Ahem," coming from behind Sirius.

"Friend of yours, love?"


	3. The Theatre

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters and situations **_**I **_**create!**_

_A/N: I know this one's short, but I couldn't really go anywhere else here. I promise the next one will be longer and more entertaining!_

* * *

Sirius, lost in the woman in front of him, was vaguely aware of a presence behind him until Rachel pulled back, her face paling. Sirius, curious, turned to see who had interrupted what he thought was a very good snogging session.

"Benton?!" Sirius and Rachel exclaimed at the same time. Benton Kirkland looked just as surprised to see Sirius.

"Sirius? What the hell…? Let you wander for three hours and…" Benton shook his head and laughed. He looked around his best friend and into Rachel's flushed face. "You know this lazy bum? Quite the charmer, isn't he?"

Sirius turned back to look at Rachel, who had yet to speak in her embarrassment. "You wouldn't be visiting the Welkins', would you?"

Like a fish out of water, the girl's mouth opened and closed as she nodded, but no sound came out. Sirius's mouth opened, but a huge bark of a laugh was forced out, surprising Rachel into speaking.

"And what the hell is so funny, you two? I'm thoroughly confused!"

Benton calmed down and explained, "Rachel, Sirius here is my best friend from grammar school. He's staying with my stepdad, mom, sister, and I for a few days before heading back home. Sorry, Sirius. I forgot to tell you we already had guests."

It hit Rachel like a ton of bricks. "Y…you're staying with the Welkins as well?"

Sirius nodded. "For another three days, at least. If they'll have me that long, that is. I do admit, though, my visit was unexpected. How long is your family staying?"

"Only for tonight. They wanted to take my parents out to dinner and a show, so we're spending the night."

Benton, still standing in the background, found the whole situation hilarious. "And to think, they wanted me to get to know you, and you run off with my best friend. How do you two know each other anyway?"

Sirius and Rachel quickly explained how the two of them had met, and Benton's eyes widened. "So, Rachel just randomly sat down at your table? Small world, eh?"

"Very small," smiled Sirius. "So, Bent, what brings you out here?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, you're only a block from my house. Rachel's mum asked me to come looking for her. She's running a tad late, and Mrs. Bartwell was worried that she'd gotten lost."

Rachel shook her head. "No, Mum just wanted us to walk back together. She's set on me getting married as soon as I graduate, so I've been introduced to everyone's son, nephew, grandson, male cousin…you name it! No offense, Benton."

"None taken. I feel the same way, but I'm going into the RAF in two weeks, so I'm not looking to settle down any time soon. Sirius?"

Sirius felt like a deer caught in headlights. "Sirius, what?"

"Are you ready to 'take the plunge,' so to speak?"

"God, no. I'm leaving for school in August. Plus, I'm only eighteen; why get married _now_?"

The three walked back to Benton's house, talking about futures _without_ spouses, at least in the next couple of years, anyway. Rachel kept sneaking glances at Sirius, but she never knew that he saw. He just hoped she didn't see the same glances he threw her way when she wasn't supposed to be looking.

* * *

"Rachel! Thank God Benton found you! I knew I shouldn't have let you go by yourself!" Rachel sighed to herself as her mother hugged her. She hated the way Alice acted around her friends and anyone she deemed "important." Alone, her mother was her best friend; in public, she couldn't wait to be rid of the woman.

"Mum…"

"Never again! You're staying with your father and me the rest of the trip."

"Mum…really…" Rachel was becoming very annoyed.

"Go on in the sitting room with the others. I'll go get Benton."

However, Benton and Sirius followed Rachel in the room. Benton spoke up.

"Mrs. Bartwell! It seems I didn't have to look far for Rachel. She was just outside, about to come in. She had met up with my friend here, who is also a guest of mine for a few days. Mrs. Bartwell, meet Sirius Black. We went to school together."

Sirius bowed slightly. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Bartwell."

Alice Bartwell looked at Sirius with critical eyes. Rachel knew what she was thinking. "Mum, I actually ran into Mr. Black at the coffee shop. We sat at the same table before realizing we were guests at the same house. He just offered to escort me home. Nothing more," she finished, hoping neither her mother nor Sirius saw the blush that colored her face. Benton noticed and just smiled.

Her mom nodded and gave a slight smile to Sirius. "It's nice to meet you as well. Come join us all for tea."

"I'd be honored."

* * *

Sirius sat back and blew out a bated breath. That had to be one of the most stressful teas he had ever had the displeasure of suffering through. The only bright spot was Rachel sitting across from him, acting as if the two hadn't snogged less than an hour ago just a block down the road.

"Mr. Black?" Sirius bit back a groan. Alice and Christopher Bartwell had grilled him for the last thirty minutes on his education, future, family, etc. He knew why: they wanted to see if he could be a potential suitor for their Rachel, their baby girl. Who cared what she wanted, right? The Welkins sat to the side and participated, vouching where they could for Sirius.

"Yes, Mr. Bartwell?"

"We're going out to the theatre tonight after dinner. I'm sure Paul and Nan wouldn't object when I say that I'd like you to join our family there."

Both Sirius and Rachel looked at her father with widened eyes. _They liked me?_ Alice was still looking him up and down, but she and Chris had obviously deemed Sirius worthy of a family outing.

Before he could answer, Benton slapped his friend on the back and grinned. "Of course, he'll go! He can have my seat. I'm supposed to be meeting up with some of the other gents joining the RAF tonight, and I'd wondered what I was going to do with my ticket. Thanks, mate, for taking it off my hands!"

* * *

"I'm going to kill Benton."

Rachel looked over at Sirius's face, wanting more than anything to laugh at his sullen expression. "Poor thing. Was your kip interrupted by the applause?"

Sirius immediately looked guilty, but he laughed all the same. "For a few minutes there, I was sleeping pretty well. Who knew _The Sound of Music_ was so…soothing?"

As the group of six made their way back to the Welkins house, they critiqued the musical; Rachel loved the play, but it was obvious that this was not Sirius Black's cup of tea. "Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"If you dislike the theatre so much, why did you come?" Rachel sized the man up once again. _God, he's handsome._ Sirius had gone out and bought a new suit for the outing, wanting to be presentable for "the parents." The suit (black, of course) had just enough blue in it to tempt Rachel to become lost in the oceans he called eyes once again. _And that hair…_ Sirius, who had told Rachel earlier that he would never cut his hair, had his dark locks pulled back in a ponytail, which had earned a sexy wink from the seventeen-year-old girl. Sirius had actually blushed, which warmed Rachel to the bone.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess Benton's gone out with other friends tonight, and come on…how many chances do I have to actually spend time with the most beautiful girl in London, right?"

The two kept walking a few paces behind the adults; Alice seemed pleased that Rachel was getting along so well with Sirius, but Rachel knew that the two of them would not be settling down any time soon.

"So….your mum planned on you courting Benton?"

Rachel laughed. "'Courting, Sirius? Well, to answer your question, yes. She wanted me to meet him and figure out that we're perfect for each other and get married and have about five kids."

"Five? Are you serious?"

"No, you're—"

Sirius sent her a pointed look. "Don't even. After seven years of hearing that joke from James, it's _seriously_ not funny anymore."

Looking into his eyes, Rachel whispered, "But I'm not James…"

Smirking, Sirius stopped, tugging lightly on her arm as she kept walking past a diner. The adults stayed ahead of them, but stopped when Sirius called.

"Rachel and I are going to stop here and grab a cup of coffee. I promise I'll have her home by ten!"

Alice grinned and turned to Chris, who was giving the couple a slight frown. Obviously, he didn't quite trust Sirius. However, Alice nodded. "That'll be fine. You two have fun! We're going to have ourselves a nightcap and turn in. Keep her safe, Mr. Black!"

"I will." Turning to Rachel, he grinned. "I promise."

* * *

This girl was going to drive him crazy.

Instead of going into the diner, Sirius waited until the four adults turned the corner before pulling Rachel into the alleyway by the diner.

"We seem to find ourselves in alleys quite a bit, don't we, Mr. Black?" Rachel murmured, reaching up to play with his ponytail. Sirius growled and pushed the girl against the brick wall, looking into her dark eyes in the faint light emitting from the street lamp on the corner.

"Well, Miss Bartwell, do you have a better place in mind?" Sirius asked, bending down to kiss Rachel's neck, drawing out a moan from the seventeen-year-old. Rachel allowed Sirius to continue showering her neck with attention for a while before pulling his head up and devouring his lips, seemingly not able to wait any longer to taste him.

Scratch what he had thought earlier. This girl had _already_ driven him crazy.


	4. Her Last Name

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters and situations I create!**_

_A/N: Sorry for that last chapter. It was meant to be a transition chapter to show the connection between Benton and our two main characters.  
_

* * *

"So, Padfoot, no new lady friend from your excursion in Islington? We'd hoped you'd have a date for our wedding!" James patted his best friend on his back as he picked up Sirius's bag to carry to his room at Potter Manor.

The manor was actually just a very large house on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow. Many witches and wizards occupied the Hollow for its seclusion, thus making the Statute of Secrecy that much easier to abide by. Of course, there were muggles in the village, but they asked no questions, and magic was never seen around them.

Sirius loved the manor so much more than he had ever loved the Black home at Grimmauld Place. That excuse for a house was dark, dreary, and full of dark magic. He felt chills just walking by the place…not that he made that a habit these days.

"Date? Why would I get a date? I'll be busy running around, dealing with your sorry ass!" Sirius thought back to Rachel, though, as the two friends entered Sirius's bedroom. He had wanted to bring her, but there was no way he could have brought the muggle girl to a wizarding wedding. There was too much magic performed for her presence to be possible.

James quirked an eyebrow as he sank down into the dark blue easy chair by the window. "So, you're telling me that you went dateless the entire time you were gone? Sirius Black, I know that look in your eye, mate. What's her name?"

Sirius shook his head and grinned. "Mate, you know me too well. Rachel Bartwell. Muggle girl. I would have brought her, but…"

"Damn Statute…I know. Sorry, mate." James looked at Sirius. "You really liked her, didn't you?"

"Huh? What're you going on about, Prongs?" Of course he really liked Rachel. The two hadn't been able to keep their hands off of each other the day they met (or the day after), but he didn't think that was what James was talking about.

"I mean, how long did you date? The entire time you were there?"

"Two days; she was only visiting Islington, like I was." Sirius moved to look out the window, as if he could see Rachel if he looked hard enough.

"Two bloody days?!" James's eyebrows disappeared beneath his shaggy hair. "And you're this serious about her?"

"Who said I was serious about anyone?" Sirius looked at his friend, baffled at James's attitude.

"You know her last name." At Sirius's silent question, James continued, "Of course, at Hogwarts, you knew all of the girls' last names, especially if they were Gryffindor. However, whenever you date, or even shag, a girl, you never bother to learn her last name. It's like you don't take the time to care. That's why Lily and I told you not to break any girls' hearts while you were gone. You have a reputation, mate."

"Bloody hell…" Sirius realized James was telling the truth. How had he not seen it before? He thought back to the argument they'd had about her last name.

"Mate? You okay? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings…" James looked apologetic.

"Hurt my feelings?"

"About the whole reputation thing."

Sirius was confused. "Why would that hurt my feelings? That's who I am. No, I was just thinking about the fact that I actually learned Rachel's last name." He sat down on his bed. "Mate, you wouldn't believe it. I was at this coffee shop, umm," looking at James, "_complimenting_ the lovely ladies walking by, and suddenly there was this beautiful girl at the table with me, calling me out on my 'objective' attitude toward women. Reminded me of Lily, she did."

"Sirius… How many times…?"

"I know! All those times Lily's nag…ah…_asked _me to stop," he amended at James's cross look, "I thought it was just Lily, but the more this girl talked, the more I saw how wrong I was. If my attitude was this obvious to a perfect stranger, a seventeen-year-old girl at that, I knew something had to change. She finally told me her name was Rachel, but she didn't offer a last name, and of course, I didn't ask for one. She annoyed me at first, telling me all of this, and I know I annoyed her. Finally, we settled our differences and began to have a civil conversation. I offered to walk her home, and the next thing I knew…"

"Oh, Padfoot, you didn't…"

Sirius chuckled when he realized where James's mind was going, but it was actually not a happy laugh. "No, James, we didn't. But we did get a good snog in before she backed off and ran. I caught up to her and called her out on it, and she let in to me, telling me, of all things, that I hadn't known _her last name _before I kissed her."

"Your response?"

"She didn't offer it? I know, James…" Sirius was ashamed to remember his answer. Rachel, unbeknownst to her, wasn't the first girl he had kissed or snogged before finding out her last name. Hell, he had shagged girls before learning that information.

"What did she say?" James looked at his friend sympathetically.

"She looked as bad as I felt. We properly introduced ourselves, then proceeded to snog the daylights out of each other. Of course, that's where Benton, my school mate, found us. Apparently her mum is friends with his mum or something, and they were visiting for the night. Just my luck, right?"

James's laugh rang through the room. "You've already met the parents?! Amazing, mate! And you spent the night in the same house…How did they like you?"

"Her mum seemed to really take to me. Apparently they liked me well enough to invite me out to the theatre with them that night."

Prongs looked apprehensive. "What show?"

"_The Sound of Music._"

"Mate, you don't just like that girl. You're in love already."

* * *

Rachel ran around the house, preparing the decorations to meet her mother's high standards. She wiped a bead of sweat from her brow and moved closer to the air conditioner hanging in the window. The July heat was getting to her, but there was still much to do.

Alice Bartwell was planning a late birthday party for her only child, but while she met with the caterer, she had left her daughter and Rachel's friend Bridget to cover the decorations.

"Rachel! Where the hell do these flowers go?" Bridget Howard sauntered in the room, holding a bouquet of wildflowers. Bridget was a typical beauty with long, dirty blonde hair; a tall, fit figure; and flawless, tanned skin. Her hazel eyes, a mixture of greens, blues, golds, and other colors were unique and attracted men wherever she went. Sometimes, she made Rachel sick, but she loved her anyway.

"Oh, those go in the dining room on the small table beside the door. Did Mum take that guest list? I hate that she invited all of those people."

"No, it's around here somewhere. She doesn't need it; it's all up here," Bridget laughed, pointing at her head. Rachel shook her head and chuckled with her friend, but she was serious; she hated crowds.

"You know Ethan's been invited, right?" This made Rachel's head swerve to look at her best friend. She had had a crush on Bridget's cousin Ethan since she had met him two years ago. He visited over the summers and holidays, but he treated the two girls like two little sisters, always having another girl on his arm.

"Ah…is he going to be able to come?" Rachel's heart still sped up when she heard Ethan's name, but another face popped in her head, one she hadn't seen in three weeks. This one tripled her heart rate. _I really need to call him. He asked me to…_

"He's not sure. He's taking a summer course, and finals are this week. He should be flying in Friday, but the flight may not be in til Saturday morning sometime, so he may be too tired."

Rachel nodded just as the phone rang. She looked at her best friend with a pleading look as she was in the middle of arranging another bouquet for her flower-obsessed mother.

Bridget sighed. "I'll get it." She jogged out of the room, and Rachel heard her side of the conversation.

"Bartwell residence…Who may I say is asking? Oh…okay. Yeah, she's here; let me go get her. One moment."

Rachel looked up at her friend as she walked back into the room. "Who is it, Bridget?"

"Rache, do you know a Sirius Black?"

* * *

Yep, she'd driven him crazy.

In all of his almost nineteen years, Sirius Black had never, _never_, called a girl first. Actually, he could count on one hand the times he had called a girl, period. Rachel Bartwell had wrapped around his brain in such a way that forced his thoughts to her in some way, shape, or form at least once a day, and Lily Potter (the wedding had taken place five days ago) was ecstatic.

"I knew this would happen one day!"

"What are you blubbering on about now, Lily?" Sirius had been avoiding Lily's mother's needle as she made the final adjustments to his tuxedo. Being muggles, Lily's parents had requested that the clothes, at least, be normal. James had offered to have a completely muggle ceremony for her entire family, but Lily (and her parents) declined. The ceremony was to be small anyway, so the only family the two had coming were their parents and friends from the wizarding world.

"Blubbering, am I? Sirius Black, I'll have you know, Lily Evans doesn't blubber! I'm just happy you've finally found someone!"

"I've hardly 'found someone.' I've seen the girl twice!"

Lily smiled her knowing smile. "Sirius…"

"Lily-poo…ouch! Mrs. Evans!"

Harriet Evans shook her head. "Wasn't me, love."

"Lily, we know your skill with a needle. It leaves a lot to be desired."

"Sirius, we know your skill with words. It leaves even more. I think you need to call her."

"Why?" Sirius turned to Lily, Mrs. Evans having left the room, done with modifying his suit.

"Because you like her."

"And? I like you too, but I don't think James would like it if I called you, now would he?" Sirius smirked in his friend's direction.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Sirius, casting aside the obvious fact that I'm marrying your best friend, with whom I'm madly in love, in two days, I think we both know why we'd never work out, love."

"You'd kill me," Sirius replied dutifully, nodding.

"I'd kill you, and I love you too much to lose a good friend. Now, as much as you say this girl reminds you of me, I'm positive, from what you've said, she's not _that_ much like me, right?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, she doesn't try to impale me with needles."

"Well then. What else do you like about her?"

He went behind the screen in the room to change out the tux, taking care to not mess up Mrs. Evans's modifications. Emerging a couple of minutes later, he sat down on the couch beside Lily.

"She's beautiful, Lil. Her eyes, as black as they can be…they seem to look straight through me. When she laughs, I feel better. Even when she's annoyed with me, I enjoy myself. I find myself looking for ways to make her laugh again." He put his head in his hands. "How is it possible to like someone so much after only knowing her such a short time?"

Reaching up to run her fingers through his long, black hair, Lily sighed. "Love, you know as well as I do that time doesn't matter in things like this. She made an impression on you, and she stood up to you, challenging you. How do you think I got James?"

"But look how long it took you two…Five, almost six years!"

"That was how long it took us to tell each other our feelings. I had to deal with Severus all of those years, and my schooling took precedence over my love life for a while. Plus, you and James were genuine jackasses. What do you have stopping you?"

"Volde…"

"Don't, Sirius. We can't consider that right now. Enjoy your summer, and if things happen between you two, they happen. You know you can't really get deeply involved for a couple of years anyway…"

"Once again, the Statute of Secrecy bites me in the ass…" Sirius grumbled.

Lily nodded, "But…Enjoy her. Don't hurt her though. Don't treat her like one of your other girls. I've never seen you like anyone this much."

"What if she wants something more? You know I can't tell her I'm a wizard for two years unless we're engaged or she's pregnant. Plus, I'm not involving her in this war. She already wants to go into the medical field to help with the dwindling medical support caused by these 'disasters' the Death Eaters have caused. Imagine if she finds the real reason behind everything!"

"If she wants something more, talk with her. For now, tell her to finish school, and tell her that you want to finish school as well. That is your story, right?"

"Right."

"Well then, you have no other excuse. When I get back from my honeymoon, I expect to hear that you've talked to this girl. You deserve a little happiness in these dark times."

Sirius reached over and kissed Lily on the cheek. "Thanks, love. You're amazing."

Lily sighed dramatically. "It's about time you boys start to notice."

Now, as Sirius waited on Rachel to come to the phone, he became nervous.

_What the hell is happening to me?_

* * *

"Hello?" Rachel licked her lips, not believing that _he_ had called _her_.

"Um, hi Rachel?" Rachel smiled. The man sounded…

"Mr. Black, are you…_nervous_? Nervous about talking to," switching to her best southern drawl, "little ol' me?"

The deep, masculine voice on the other end laughed. "Oh, Miss Bartwell, you flatter yourself. I was just making sure it was you and that I hadn't accidentally called one of my many other conquests."

Rachel's smile faded. She remembered Sirius's actions from the coffee shop. Of course, she wouldn't be the only girl receiving Sirius Black's attention. She should feel privileged to have even received a phone call.

"Rachel?" His voiced lowered.

"I'm here. Sorry. Just got distracted." She hated how sad her voice sounded.

"Rachel, I was joking. I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't…gods…I'm screwing this up already, aren't I?" Sirius's voice sounded pained.

The seventeen-year-old put her head in her hand, embarrassed at the way she'd acted. "No, Sirius. I… I shouldn't assume anything. I mean...damn. I'll shut up now."

A slight chuckle came across the line. "Let's start over. Hi, Rachel. How is your day going?"

Rachel smiled once again. "Busy. Mum's planning some birthday gathering for me, and she's running me crazy. Bridget, my friend who answered the phone, is threatening to desert me."

From the other room she heard an, "If I have to tie one more pink bow, I'm gone!"

Sirius laughed. "She sounds fun. So…your birthday? Is it soon?"

"Oh, it was almost a month ago. However, Mum didn't get to celebrate my 'coming out' properly, so she's invited everyone around for a party."

"Let me guess: every eligible male within a hundred mile radius?"

Rachel laughed. "You guessed it. I'm on display for all to see." Suddenly, she was hit with an idea. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"You willing to help a damsel in distress?"

"Only if you're that damsel, milady." Sirius seemed amused.

"Why of course, my knight. How would you like to come to a party as my date?"


	5. The Party

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters and situations I create!**_

_A/N: Just clarifying for those of you who've read "Ten More Minutes," Rachel tells Harry and Maria that she didn't meet Ethan until after she graduated. I had to edit this a bit in this story to fit everything…_

* * *

The day of the party arrived, and Rachel was nervous. The party was set to begin at six, and Sirius had told her that he would be there by 6:30, just to give her mother time to introduce her around.

Why was she nervous? Was it the prospect of seeing Sirius Black again? _Maybe_. Was it the fact that Eric Howard had sent word that he would definitely be there? _Quite possibly_. Was it because she had failed to tell her mother of Sirius's presence at the gathering? _Most definitely_. Alice Bartwell did not take surprises well, and her evening had been planned very meticulously. Thankfully, this was not one of her famous dinner parties, so Rachel had not had to worry about seating arrangements and the like, but this wouldn't faze her mother.

"How are you feeling, Rache? Nervous about seeing him?" Rachel turned to look at Bridget, who looked stunning, as usual. The guest of honor felt a twinge of fear as she thought about her date's penchant for beautiful women, but pushed it aside, remembering that he was traveling to Beaconsfield, to her birthday party, for _her_, not her friend, not her parents, nor for any other reason but for _Rachel Elizabeth Bartwell_, and the thought warmed her all the way down to her…

"Rachel? Did you hear me?" Bridget looked worried. Rachel threw an arm around her friend and smiled.

"Nervous about seeing whom?"

"Ethan. You know, the guy you've been pining over for two years? Who do you think I'm talking about?"

Rachel smiled again. She had "forgotten" to tell Bridget about Sirius, instead wanting to see her reaction when she saw him for the first time. After their phone conversation on Wednesday, Bridget had asked her about him, but Rachel played it off, saying Sirius was some bloke she had had coffee with in Islington.

The two girls made the rounds, stopping to talk to the appropriate people, allowing Mrs. Bartwell to introduce her daughter around to the "nice young men" in attendance. While in conversation with one particularly "hands-on" gentleman, Rachel was looking around for Bridget, who had suddenly disappeared, when she felt two hands close in around her and cover her eyes.

"Guess who…" The deep, husky voice taunted.

* * *

Sirius took a deep breath and glanced at the door. He could hear the laughter floating from inside, begging him to come in and take part. However, at the same time, it also mocked him, reminded him of his past life, that if he had stayed with his parents, he would still be attending these parties almost nightly, if he was even still single by now.

_No,_ he thought, _this is Rachel. This is different!_ With that definitive thought, he stepped up and rang the doorbell, waiting to be welcomed in. The door swung open, and a tall blonde with interesting hazel eyes smiled at Sirius.

"Hi! How can I help you?"

"I…ahem…I'm looking for Rachel Bartwell. She asked me to come." Sirius had never felt more unsure of himself than he did right now.

"Your name? I could have sworn everyone on the guest list had arrived."

"Oh, I'm not on the list. My name's Sirius Black. I think I remember your voice; Bridget is it?

Her grin widened. "Why, yes, it is! Mr. Black, it's nice to meet you. Come on, I'll take you to Rachel. She'll be happy to see you!"

Being the gentleman he was, Sirius held out his arm, and Bridget took it, leading him through the crowd, which was heavily populated with the male species. Sirius kept his head up, looking for a familiar messy mop of hair.

"Ah! Here she is!" Bridget let him to what appeared to be the study. He looked around the room, finally focusing on the young lady in a deep discussion with a tall, tanned gentleman who looked as if he couldn't keep his _bloody_ hands off of her.

"Thanks, Bridget, for the help. I owe you." Sirius didn't even bother to look at the other girl as he strode purposefully to Rachel, who looked drop-dead gorgeous in her fitted pale-yellow dress that hung just loosely enough that it moved as she did, hugging each curve of her body.

"Rachel, love, I'm sorry I'm late!" Sirius arrived at Rachel's side, kissing her cheek and looking into her eyes, which were filled with relief.

Grabbing his hand, Rachel reached up and returned the kiss, which landed perilously close to the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad you made it at all! You didn't have to travel all this way just for my birthday, Sirius." She smiled sweetly at him, but he could recognize that mischievous gleam anywhere. Time for their plan to be put into action.

"Of course I had to! How many times do you turn seventeen?" Then, acting like he had just noticed the other bloke in the room, Sirius turned and stuck out his hand. "I'm sorry, mate. Sirius Black. How do you do?"

The man took his hand and squeezed a tad too hard. "Ethan Howard. I was just telling Rachel here that I was sorry I couldn't fly in more, you know, with school being as demanding as it is. I'm in my second year at the University of Manchester, planning on being a chemistry professor. My parents live in Liverpool, so I rarely come this way, but my aunt and uncle live here."

Rachel spoke up. "Speaking of his family, have you met Bridget? You spoke to her on the phone the other day. Bridget's Ethan's cousin."

"We've met." Bridget smiled. "Rachel, could I speak to you a moment?"

"Sure. You two want something to drink?"

Sirius nodded. "Whatever you're having, love."

"A scotch, please," Ethan added.

The girls nodded and left the study, heading towards the bar. Bridget suddenly stopped in a secluded hallway and cornered Rachel.

"What…the…hell? I thought he was just 'some bloke'? Looks like more to me! I wouldn't have forced Ethan to come if I had known you had this guy in the wings!"

"Bridget! Chill the fuck out! I did meet Sirius in Islington, but we hit it off immediately. He's amazing, Bridget. Mum loves him, and Dad invited him to the theatre with us the very night he met him. Of course, Sirius slept through the entire production of _The Sound of Music_, but it was the thought that counted, right?"

"He's not only amazing, he's bloody hot! Now, I need to know: are you still hot for Ethan? He came here tonight with the intent on acting on _your_ interest in _him_."

Rachel sighed. "Well then, that answers that question. I don't want someone acting on just _my_ interest. I want him to be interested as well, and I think Sirius is."

Bridget laughed as she pulled Rachel to the bar. "Oh, Sirius is interested. You should have seen him when Ethan laid his hand on your shoulder. He looked like he could have run right through him. Have you told your mum that he's here?"

"Sirius Black! What a surprise!" Rachel grimaced and looked at Bridget.

"Don't have to. She already knows."

* * *

Sirius froze. He'd know that voice anywhere, even after only seeing the woman just two times. What could he say? Alice Bartwell made a strong first impression…

"Sirius! Does Rachel know you're here? How did you even know about the party?" Alice ran up to the young man, not noticing how Ethan Howard was frowning at the attention Sirius was receiving.

"Oh, Mum, there you are! Here, boys, are your drinks!" Sirius shot Rachel a look of gratitude before turning back to her mother. "Mum, I invited Sirius. I thought it would be fun, and plus, I needed a date!" Rachel smiled innocently at her mother.

Alice seemed to contemplate her daughter's words. "But, Rachel, although I'm glad Mr. Black is here, why go out and invite your own date? There are countless men here, including Mr. Howard here. Why…?"

"Now, now, Mrs. Bartwell, I'm beginning to feel unwanted here." Sirius sent what he hoped to be an endearing smirk toward the matriarch as he said this, and, luckily for him, it hit its mark.

"Oh, Sirius! No! You're more than welcome and wanted here! I don't know why I didn't think to invite you while we were in your company a couple of weeks ago! My daughter is thoughtful, isn't she?" Alice grinned at Rachel as if the two shared a secret.

"That she is. Now, if you'll excuse us, I'd like to catch up with Rachel. I've hardly talked to her since Islington, and I didn't learn nearly enough then." Sirius put a hand around Rachel's shoulder and steered her to an empty room and closed the door.

"Now, how'd I do?"

* * *

Rachel grinned. Sirius was amazing, and she loved the way he had handled Eric and her mother. Also, he had let every man in the room know that she had a date and was currently unavailable. "Sirius Black, you're…"

"I know," he replied cheekily.

"I could just…" She didn't get to finish her sentence. Sirius seemed to know what she was going to say and bent down and pressed his lips to hers. Rachel sighed, realizing just how much she had missed this over the last two weeks. The kiss on the cheek in the study had just thrown fuel on the flames that she had been feeling since her last meeting with Sirius, and she had seen the desire in his eyes as well.

Sirius's tongue found his way to her lips, and she opened them willingly, allowing her tongue to dance with his for a moment before pulling back, forcing a growl from his throat.

"You know, you do that too well," she commented quietly.

"What? Growl?"

"Mmmhmm…"

Sirius laughed and moved his head down, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. He stopped at her shoulder, biting gently, causing a light red mark to show.

"Sirius! Mum will know what we've been up to!"

"And so will every other gent here." Looking into her eyes, he growled again. "You're mine tonight, Rachel Bartwell." He leaned down to prove to her how much he meant this last statement.

* * *

And she was. To Rachel's surprise, neither Alice nor Christopher noticed the now-bruised love-bite just hidden under the strap on her dress, but it seemed that every potential date in at the party, including one Ethan Howard, did.

Rachel's long-time love interest seemed to finally have gotten his head on his shoulders, but it seemed that Rachel had, at long last, found someone else to occupy her attention, and he didn't like it one bit. Bridget noticed and sat down by her cousin.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" He was brooding, watching the two on the makeshift dance floor out back in the Bartwells' back yard.

"I thought you said she wanted me here tonight."

"I thought she did."

Ethan turned to his younger cousin and motioned for her to continue.

"Well, she _has _been crushing on you for the better part of two years, love. You never seemed to give her the time of day." Bridget didn't seem to look too apologetic about the way her best friend was treating Ethan. "This Sirius Black was in Islington when she and her family went to visit her mum's friends a couple of weeks ago. I guess they really hit it off, right?"

"Hmmph."

"Cheer up, mate. Now you'll see how it feels to chase her for a while. Take a walk in her shoes, if you will."

Ethan sat in silence for a while, his hands set in a shape reminiscent of a steeple. Then, finally, "I don't like to lose."

"Ethan…she's not a trophy. Just you saying that shows how little you really know Rachel."

"I _don't_ like to lose, Bridget. I especially don't like to lose to arrogant bastards like Sirius Black."

Bridget knew she was getting nowhere. "Ethan, breathe. She's not marrying the guy. He told me tonight that he's leaving for university on the continent in the fall, and she has a year left here before she starts college. If you want Rachel—the girl, mind you, not the trophy—just be around more. Become friends with her. Show her you're really the nice guy she always thought you were."

Ethan sighed. "You're right. I've been a jerk to her. I guess I never thought she liked me like that; plus, she was always so young. When did you two grow up?"

"It was gradual. You've just been gone too much."

"Not anymore. You'll be seeing a hell of a lot more of me in the near future."

* * *

Sirius was enjoying himself, twirling Rachel around on the dance floor. He never had been much of a dancer, but his current partner made the task seem effortless.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?" Sirius and Rachel were slowly moving around the floor now, close together as a soft ballad wafted among the couples that still occupied the space.

"How was the wedding?" Sirius smiled. Of course she'd remember James and Lily's wedding.

"Great…small. They had just their parents and a few friends in attendance."

"And the most handsome best man imaginable," Rachel said softly, allowing her hand to reach up from its rest around his neck and played with his hair, which was once again in a ponytail.

"Ah, Rachel…I wanted to take you to the wedding so much…" Sirius reached down and pecked the girl on the lips, grinning when she protested as he pulled away.

"Damn, man, you're too much! Now, why didn't you take me? I'd have loved to meet Lily and James!" Rachel's eyes twinkled in the lights hanging around the yard, causing Sirius's mouth to become dry.

Licking his lips, he began to go into an explanation when she took control, almost knocking the breath out of him. The kiss surprised him, but at the same time, he took the time to enjoy it, taking care not to call too much attention to them. Pulling back, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"What the hell was that for?"

She shrugged. "I felt like it, and I guess I'm letting these girls here know you're mine tonight as well, Sirius Black. Whatever happens after tonight, you're mine for now."

He grinned. "Yes ma'am. I love it when you're all possessive. Now, to answer the question you asked, I would have asked you to go, but…"

"May I cut in?" The couple turned to see Ethan Howard standing by, looking slightly shy as he smiled at them.

Sirius looked at Rachel with a questioning brow raised. Rachel nodded slightly and kissed Sirius's cheek before switching partners. Sirius walked over and asked Bridget, sitting in a deck chair watching the crowd, to dance.

"Well, Mr. Black, it's nice to see you. I've barely caught a glimpse of you all night."

"Ah, well, you see, Miss Howard, I have always had a one-track mind, and right now, I'm slightly distracted by the birthday girl." Sirius was just as attentive, however, to his current dance partner. "You're a great dancer, Bridget. You sampling the buffet Mrs. Bartwell's set out here tonight?"

"Buffet?"

"That's the only word I can think of to describe the men Alice has invited here. There's a little something for every taste, I daresay. Nothing sparks your interest?"

Bridget laughed. "Oh, no. I'm taken. My boyfriend couldn't make it tonight, but he graduated this last year. He's going to Oxford in the fall."

"Lucky bloke." Sirius's gaze floated back to where Rachel was dancing with Ethan. "Wonder what those two are talking about?"

* * *

"You're beautiful tonight, Rachel." Ethan's gaze bore into hers, but unlike the other _invited_ male guests, they didn't roam south, looking at her like a dish to be devoured.

"Thanks, Ethan. You're looking handsome, as always. How's Lisa?" Rachel smiled, knowing this would make him stop and think. She was right.

"Oh, um. We, ah, broke it off last month. She transferred to another school. I'm currently available," he finished, smiling hopefully.

Rachel frowned, "Looks like you'd want a break from the whole relationship thing, wouldn't you? I mean, you two were almost engaged, right? I'd want to stay away from the dating game."

"I guess. I probably will focus more on my studies this term. I'll probably also be back and forth visiting Uncle George and Aunt Brianne here more this year. I feel like I haven't seen them enough in the past few years."

"They'd like that. So…Ethan.?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you like Sirius? You've been a presence in my life for the last two years. Bridget seems to like him. How about you?"

Ethan seemed to struggle with this answer, but he finally settled on a reply.

"Rachel, he seems to make you happy. I just want you to be careful; you just met the guy. There are plenty of guys here you've known for much longer than two weeks who would love to be on your arm. However, like I said, you're happy. That's all I could ask for." As the song ended, Ethan kissed her cheek and led her off the dance floor to where Sirius and Bridget were getting drinks. At their questioning glances, the couple just smiled and began talking, enjoying the remainder of the party.


	6. Yellow

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters and situations I create!**_

_A/N: Just letting you all know, I didn't suddenly change a character's name; I was reading back through "Ten More Minutes," and I noticed that Maria's dad's name was Ethan, not Eric. My mistake…I've changed it in the past two chapters, and that's the way it'll be from here on out!_

* * *

**Five months later…December 1978**

"_Rachel! Hang up the phone! You have school tomorrow!"_ Alice called up to her daughter's room for the fifth time in less than twenty minutes, but Rachel didn't hear; thank goodness her mother had seen fit to install a separate phone line in her room last year!

"Sirius! What kind of girl do you take me for?" Rachel giggled (_giggling now, are we, Rachel?_) into the receiver. Sirius was off at school on the continent, and Rachel lived for those few minutes that he found to call in and check up on her.

"Well, love, I'd hoped the kind to tell me what colour knickers she was wearing. You know, it does get lonely over here with no pretty girl to keep me company."

Rachel rolled her eyes. They had this conversation every time he called. "Mr. Black, you know that there are plenty of girls to keep your bed nice and warm at night. You don't have to call and complain to me about it." The girl hated to keep reminding him of this, but she promised herself not to hold too tightly to Sirius Black; he was too flighty to have her pin him down.

She could hear the sigh in his voice. "But none of those girls are you."

"Why, Mr. Black, I'm beginning to think you like me."

"What can I say, Miss Bartwell? You have a way of getting under a bloke's skin. I've actually asked a couple of these girls out, just to dinner, mind you, but I find myself extremely bored within minutes. You've ruined me, love."

Although the mention of other girls ruffled her feathers, Rachel found herself smiling at what he'd said. "Well, Sirius, I'm an amazing girl. You'd be hard-pressed to find another like me."

"Modest, are we?"

"Always."

"_Rachel! If you don't get off that phone in one minute, it'll be gone from your room when you get home tomorrow!"_

"Oh, well, love, I must go. Mum's threatening now."

"Damn. Well, I'm probably heading your way in a couple of weeks for Christmas. Can I stop in?"

"As if I'd let you get away _without_ coming by. Mum may actually let you stay again like you did after my party. Call again later this week, and I'll let you know. Oh, and Sirius?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Yellow." _Click._

* * *

Sirius was grinning like a fool when he hung up the phone. Of course, he usually was when he'd talked to _her_.

"Rachel again?" Lily was smiling almost as widely as Sirius was. _Where'd she come from?_

"What business is that of yours, Ev—I mean Potter. Wow, it's hard to remember to call you that."

"Nope, you're not changing the subject, Black. You always get this stupidly funny look on your face when you've talked to the girl. Now, when are we going to meet her?"

Sirius shook his head. "I have no idea, Lily. She knows nothing of this world, and it's too dangerous to bring her around you lot right now. I'm risking it just visiting like I do. I have to keep the appearance that I'm in school. Told her I'd visit for Christmas."

Lily nodded. "I know. It's just that Rachel is the first girl to make you act like this. I guess we muggles aren't as boring as you purebloods make us out to be, eh?"

"Now, love, I've never said muggles were boring!"

The red-haired young lady sitting in the chair across from the desk behind which Sirius had perched himself to call Rachel smirked. "You insinuated."

"I happen to love _all_ women."

"Especially one, right?"

"Right," Sirius quickly agreed, then stopped himself. "Ah…you little minx…you tricked me!"

"That's not exactly hard to do, Padfoot," laughed James, who had just walked into the office and taken the seat next to his wife of five months. "How did my lovely bride trick you?"

"By making me say I lo...damn…that's hard to say!"

Lily turned to James. "He just told me that he loves Rachel Bartwell."

"Did not!"

"That's great, mate! Finally, someone tamed the insurmountable Sirius Black! When are you going to see her again?" James was grinning from ear-to-ear.

Head in hand, Sirius mumbled, "I'm visiting her sometime in the next couple of weeks. She told me to call back for definite dates."

"What'd you get her for Christmas? I mean, I know with…_him_…out there, it's hard to think about the holidays, but she deserves something from you." This came from Lily.

Sirius's eyes widened. "Shit! Lily…"

"On it, Sirius. Don't worry; I'll take care of you. Now what's her favorite color?"

The man sitting behind the desk grinned suddenly at this. "Yellow."

* * *

**Christmas Eve, 1978**

"So, when's that delectable Mr. Black getting here?" Bridget loved teasing Rachel about her "friendship" with Sirius Black. Everyone who had been at the girl's birthday party knew that there was more than platonic feelings between the two, especially after that kiss on the dance floor, but Rachel had denied every accusation.

"_Sirius_ will be here at five. He wanted to be here in time to settle in before dinner. You haven't invited Ethan behind my back, have you?"

Bridget shook her head. "Why would I invite him? I thought you were through with him."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. He's just been around a lot more lately. Mum doesn't know whether to push me toward him or if she wants me to wait around for Sirius. She loves Ethan, loves that he's going to college, and loves his manners. However, she also knows that Sirius is from a wealthy family; you can tell that just from his wardrobe and the way he acts."

"What do _you_ want, Rache?"

The dark-haired girl turned toward her best friend and opened her mouth to say something just as the doorbell rang. Her eyes lit up, and she dashed out of the room to answer the new arrival.

Bridget shook her head and grinned. "Guess she answered that question."

* * *

She wasn't supposed to look _this_ good.

While he was off fighting the so-called Dark Lord, Rachel was supposed to be at home, attending classes, and just be a normal teenage _girl_.

There was nothing _normal_ or _girl-_ish about Rachel Bartwell tonight.

When she opened the door for him, he was rendered speechless by her wonderful black eyes, illuminated by the lights used for decorations up and down the street in front of her house. Her dress, an emerald green that would almost match Lily's eyes' exact shade, floated around her body, enticing him with each _swish _in his direction. When she smiled at him, he swallowed hard, not knowing how he was going to last here with her and her parents without touching her, without _tasting_ those…

"Sirius! You're here!" Rachel threw herself in his direction and caught him in a tight hug, allowing him to wrap her in his arms for a brief second. Pulling back, Rachel grinned at him again, grabbed his hand, and went to pull him in.

"Oh, no. Not yet you two." Sirius and Rachel looked up to see Bridget smiling mischievously. She pointed above their heads where a branch of mistletoe beckoned the couple.

"Bridget! You…" But Rachel was cut off by Sirius, who had been looking for any excuse to taste her lips. He felt her hands slightly push against his chest, but they then pulled away, instead settling in his hair, which was hanging free tonight.

"_Ahem_." Rachel jerked back from her guest, leaving him open to the cold wind blowing in the still-open door. He looked over and saw Alice and Christopher Bartwell frowning at him along with a grinning Bridget standing behind them.

_Shit_. "Um, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bartwell. Happy Christmas!" Sirius stepped in slightly and closed the door to ward off the cold. "It's been a while," he said, sticking out a hand to Chris.

Chris eyed the hand warily before giving the boy a begrudging smile. "Happy Christmas, m'boy. It's good to have you back this way. It's been too long!"

Alice nodded and stepped up to hug Sirius. "It has. You can't stay away for so long! I know we just met you, but you already feel like family!"

Sirius heard Rachel sigh behind him, but smiled nonetheless. "Thanks, you two. I'll try to make it out this way more often."

Rachel stepped up beside him and took his free hand, the one not holding his rucksack. "Come on, Sirius. Let me show you to your room. Dinner will be in thirty minutes." Sirius obediently followed his hostess up the stairs to the bedroom he had stayed in the last time he was here: the night of her birthday party.

When the Bartwells had realized that he was staying in an inn, they wouldn't have it; they demanded that he stay at their home whenever he was in the area. Of course, Sirius was perfectly fine with that.

Throwing his bag on the floor, he turned and took Rachel in his arms. "Gods, I've missed you."

Rachel sighed contentedly as she sank into his embrace. "I've missed you too, more than I'd like to admit."

He leaned her head back. "Now, why wouldn't you like to admit that?"

"Well, because you're…I don't know…you? The Sirius Black I met in Islington loves the female population as a whole, and I don't expect you to change. I'm not expecting anything from you, Sirius. I hope you know that."

That hurt him more than he cared to let himself believe. "Rachel, know when I say that I haven't touched another woman in the five months that I've been gone that I'm telling the truth. I wasn't lying to you the other night on the phone; I compare all other girls to you, and they don't measure. Am I in love? Who knows? I've never been there, and I don't like throwing that word around. Do I like you? Hell yes!" His voice dropped to a whisper, and he leaned close to her ear. "Do I want to throw you on that bed and ravish you until we can't move? Obviously." Speaking normally, he leaned back and looked her in the eyes. "However, I'm trying this thing out where I'm more respectful toward women these days. Lily likes what I've done, and she wants to shake your hand and commend you on a 'job well-done.'"

Just as they heard Alice call them down for dinner, Rachel leaned up to Sirius's ear. "Couldn't I see the _old objectifying _Sirius…just one more night?"

_Gulp_. "You bet."

* * *

Dinner was a festive event, especially with the wine Sirius had generously brought in return for the Bartwells letting him stay with them. Christopher's eyes ogled the label on the bottle, knowing that this particular year was a good one, and he called the boy out on it.

"Mr. Black, just who are your parents? You wouldn't just stumble upon this rare bottle of wine, especially at your age."

Sirius turned from flirting with Bridget (Rachel had sent him a mock frown, but she knew nothing would come of these two's banter) and faced the eldest Bartwell's curious tone. "Well, sir, Orion and Walburga Black are my parents; they live in Islington, not far from where you visited when we met."

Rachel almost groaned at the inquisitive look her mother was giving Sirius. "So, why were you staying with the Welkins?"

"Mum…"

"No, Rachel, it's a perfectly reasonable question."

"Don't encourage her…" Rachel muttered.

Sirius smiled over at Rachel before answering. "My parents and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on most things. I have never cared much for exerting the social graces expected of my family's social status. I became smothered, and the tension wore at my parents and me until we were fighting constantly. They finally disowned me and kicked me out. Thankfully, my friend James's family took me in while I wasn't in school, which was only two or three months out of the year."

"But you're obviously well-off…" Alice was trying to wrap her head around this.

"Mum!"

"It's okay, Rachel. I am, but I did have an uncle who felt like I did. When he died, he left me his fortune to ensure that I'd never do without. It's in an account that I only use to live on at the moment. I'm, uh, paying for school out of it at the moment."

Bridget was taking the whole conversation in with an amused smile on her face. "So, Sirius, what are you studying? I don't think I've ever asked."

"Well, ah, I've always been interested in justice, wondering why some get 'fair' treatment while others get the shaft, so I'm studying law. I want to balance the justice system a bit."

Christopher's eyes brightened at that. "A lawyer, eh?"

"Yes sir. I…I've seen injustices that should not have happened. From the time I was small, my own family has been responsible for both directly and indirectly causing people pain, but they're influential enough that they get out of trouble continuously. My brother, from what I've heard, has recently fallen in with a bad crowd, and my parents are actually supporting him in his endeavors." Sirius actually wiped a tear from his eye, and Rachel couldn't stop herself from grabbing his free hand, needing to comfort him somehow. "I just can't stand to see the people they hurt suffer any more."

Alice herself had tears in her eyes. "Oh, Sirius. I can see why you got out of there. Obviously, this is important to you."

He nodded. "Very." Sirius looked up, suddenly embarrassed. "I, uh, I'm going to step outside a bit. Need some fresh air." He looked at Rachel pointedly as he stood up. "Excuse me."

Bridget made her excuses and gathered her things as well, saying she needed to get home for her family's celebration. "Thank you for having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Bartwell. It was delicious, as always. I'll walk with you, Sirius."

"My pleasure, Miss Howard."

* * *

Sirius held Bridget's coat open for her before putting on his own. The two walked out and walked down the street a bit in silence. Then:

"Why are you here?"

Sirius jerked up and looked at his companion, shock covering his features. "What do you mean?" He searched Bridget, looking for some hint of joking, hostility, _something…_ However, she had stopped and was looking up at the snow falling from the sky.

"Why are you here?" She then turned to look at him. "You throw some nice lines out to my best friend, causing her to look faint each time that phone in her room rings. She's turned down dates all year, even multiple attempts by Ethan, after whom she's pined for two years, with the excuse that she has to focus on her studies right now. But that's not it, Sirius. She doesn't say it, but she doesn't have to: she's waiting for you."

_Me?_ Sirius had had many women in the past, muggle and witch alike, tell him that they loved him, that they would do anything for him. However, none of them meant anything. To hear, though, that this beautiful, intelligent creature was waiting for him here, counting the days until his next phone call, was almost too much to bear. "What do you think I should do?"

"How do you feel about her? I know you haven't really dated, but you obviously have chemistry. However, I just don't want her hurt. Ethan's overlooked her too many times in the past for you to do the same."

Sirius nodded. "I'm falling for her. I can't say I love her for sure, but, damn, Bridget…she's the most amazing girl I've ever met. If she's waiting for my phone calls, I'm waiting for the right time to call where it won't seem like I'm desperate, like I have nothing better to do. I'll admit: I'm no prude. I've had my share of women in the past. However, I haven't touched another woman since Rachel came into my life, and I have no problem keeping it that way."

Bridget smiled. "That's all I needed to hear, Sirius. However, you hurt Rachel…"

"I'm at your mercy." Sirius bowed low.

The girl laughed. "Just to let you know, Rachel's parents are very heavy sleepers, and your room is right beside hers while theirs is at the other end of the house. Night, Sirius! Happy Christmas!"

Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "You too, Bridget!" He grinned once he remembered Rachel's words from earlier tonight—_Couldn't I see the old objectifying Sirius…just one more night?_—and turned, hurrying back to the celebration.


	7. Christmas

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

"Rachel, love? Your dad and I are going to the Christmas tree lighting down in the square. You and Sirius want to come? We probably won't be home until late." Alice looked in the kitchen where her daughter and Sirius were washing dishes. The two had volunteered to clean up and let Rachel's parents have a break.

The girl turned around. "No ma'am. You two go on. I think we can find a Christmas movie or something on the telly to watch. I might even make us some hot cocoa." She smiled at Sirius, who gave a wink back, thankfully missed by the elder Bartwell female.

Alice nodded. "Okay, you two be careful. We'll be home by midnight. Don't stay up too late."

"We won't. You and Dad have fun." Rachel raised a soapy hand toward her mother.

After Rachel and Sirius finished the dishes, they made their way to the living room to find a movie. Sitting on the couch after turning the television on, Rachel turned to her guest.

"So, you want that cocoa?"

Sirius sat back on the couch, closed his eyes, and stuck out his flat stomach as far as he possibly could, rubbing it as he talked. "After that dinner? My God, woman! I don't think anything else would fit in there!"

Rachel laughed at Sirius's expression. She hadn't been this happy since…well, since the last time he was here. Looking at him, she shook her head at her feelings. He chose that moment to open his eyes.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am right now," she replied with a smile on her face. "So, what'dya get me for Christmas?"

He reached over a pecked her lips. "I'm happy too. You don't know how much you've gotten under my skin since I started school. James and Lily have ribbed me since I got back from my last visit."

"So, they're attending school with you?"

"Oh, um, yeah. They live off-campus, you know, because they're married, but Lily insisted they get their degrees. She's brilliant…like someone else I know," he finished, grinning at her.

"You charmer. Now, you didn't answer my question." She looked into his eyes innocently.

"Ah, now, you don't want to wait until morning?"

She raised one eyebrow at Sirius. "We have three hours until my parents get home, and you want to wait until morning to give me my Christmas gift?"

"Too true. Okay, I'll be right back." Sirius ran upstairs to his room. While he was gone, Rachel reached under the beautifully decorated Christmas tree to retrieve her own gift. Hearing Sirius lumbering back down the stairs, she put the wrapped present behind her back.

Smiling shyly, Sirius tried to adopt a cocky demeanor. "So, will this gift-giving thing be mutual? I mean, I don't know why I'm giving you something if…" His insecurities, although he was trying hard to hide them by joking, were shining through brightly. Rachel seethed inwardly at his parents for disowning such a wonderful boy for such petty reasons.

"Of course I have something for you. Here, I'll give you yours first." Rachel held out the carefully wrapped gift to Sirius, grinning at the boy-like demeanor when he took the gift from her and just stared at it.

"You really didn't have to get me anything. I was just joking."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?" He looked into her eyes, pausing his unwrapping.

"Shut up. Unwrap your present." At this, Sirius reached the box hidden by the paper and opened it carefully. Inside laid a beautiful leather-bound book. Sirius took it out with a raised-eyebrow thrown towards Rachel before opening the first page. That same eyebrow shot up with its mate as he read the note written inside:

_Sirius,_

_You have no idea how much I enjoy our phone conversations, Sirius. However, I get the feeling at times that you're in the middle of something important while you're talking to me, and I can't say that I wouldn't love to hear from you much more than I already do, but because I know this isn't logical or fair, I do want you to do me this favor: take this journal and write to me. _

_Any time you think of something amusing or even something serious you want to tell me but can't at the moment, write it down. Next time we see each other, we'll exchange and read them because I've been keeping one since you left. This doesn't bind you to me in any way; you can go back off to college a free agent; however, should you or I ever find that "special someone," I want the journal back, no matter who that "special someone" may be._

_Love,_

_Rachel_

When Sirius looked back up, he was shaking his head. "Gods, Rachel."

After a moment of silence, Rachel gave a small smile. "Now, your turn."

Sirius smiled and handed Rachel a smaller box than she had given to him. She smiled and opened it. Inside was also a book, but this tome had writing already in it.

Rachel smiled as she glanced though it. "Poetry…"

"I really hope you like it. I know a taste for poetry has to be developed…" Sirius looked unsure. That feeling left when Rachel reached over and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I love it. Now, which one is your favorite?"

"Which what?" Sirius's eyes grew wide.

"Poem, silly."

"Well, I'm more of a sonnet man, myself, but for all intents and purposes tonight, I'll recite one for you that I doubt is in that book. It's by John Ragland and it goes like:

_If there's one face I want to see,  
so beautiful, so true,  
one smile that makes a difference,  
to everything I do._

_If there's one touch I long to feel,_  
_one voice I long to hear,_  
_whenever I am happy,_  
_or just needing someone near._

_If there's one joy, one love,_  
_from which I never want to part,_  
_it's you, my very special love,_  
_my world, my life, my heart._

Rachel smiled. "That's lovely, Sirius. Where'd you learn that?"

"James made me stay in the library a pretty good bit while he was chasing Lily. I grew bored quickly, so I had to find something to bide my time. Poetry caught my attention. Lily's actually the one who found this book. I have something else for you. Close your eyes."

"But…"

"Now." Rachel closed her eyes, and as soon as Sirius called her name, they flew open again. In his hand was a very beautiful yellow tulip. "I, uh, needed help finding the perfect gift for you, and she asked what your favorite color was. Since I didn't truly know," Sirius grinned a bit, "I told her it was yellow."

Rachel blushed when she remembered the conversation they had had about that particular color just a week before. "You didn't tell her why did you?"

"Of course not." Sirius leaned in close enough that Rachel felt his breath on her ear. "But I'm anxious to find out your new favorite color tonight."

Feeling bold, Rachel whispered back, "Why don't you find out yourself?" and pulled back where she could kiss him.

* * *

"So…it's a Christmas thing, huh?"

Rachel leaned up on her elbow, looking at Sirius curiously. "Christmas? What do you mean?"

"Your underwear. They're gold, and you were wearing a green dress. Very festive of you, m'lady. Although, as ravishing as you looked in that lovely dress, I had a much better time taking it off of you, love." Sirius grinned as he reached up to kiss Rachel, loving the sound of her moan as his hand traveled south…

Rachel suddenly shot up. "What time is it?!"

Sirius lazily glanced up at the clock beside the bed. "Almost midnight. Wh…Shit!" He jumped up and gathered his clothes, bending down to kiss Rachel once again after putting his pants on. "See you in the morning, love. Happy Christmas!" He opened her door gently, listening for any movement downstairs before sneaking down the hall to his room.

After gathering his toiletries and pajamas, Sirius walked across the hall to the bathroom he supposedly had to himself. Stripping down (again) and stepping under the spray of the shower, the nineteen-year-old leaned his head against the tiled wall. Although he couldn't be happier with what had happened between him and Rachel, he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. How serious did she see their relationship? How serious did _he _see their relationship?

Sirius finished showering and dressed quickly. Rachel's parents were just coming in as he stepped into his room.

"Sirius! How was your evening?" Christopher reached out a hand to the boy.

He couldn't help but smile, even if he did feel a bit guilty about what he had done with their "innocent" daughter under their own roof. "We had a great time, Mr. Bartwell. Thanks for having me over for the holiday."

Alice shook her head. "It's our pleasure, Sirius. Rachel seems to be happy to have you here, and we enjoy your company. Our home is your home. Make yourself welcome as long as you like. Now you have a good night."

Sirius's smile waned a bit at their hospitality, but he did have one request. "Could I possibly borrow your phone? I was supposed to check in with my friends and let them know I made it, but I neglected to do so. They should be up still, but I don't want to push my luck and worry them more."

Chris waved his hand. "Of course, go ahead! There is an extension in my office downstairs. It's yours as long as you need it."

"Thank you sir. I appreciate it." Sirius walked down to Christopher's office and dialed the Order's phone number. They had put in the phone to keep in touch while Floo systems couldn't be trusted; Dumbledore was working out a way to communicate via patronus, but he hadn't perfected it yet.

On the third ring, James picked up. "Hello?"

"James! I need to talk!"

"Shit, Sirius. Already? I though this girl was different."

Sirius furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

James sighed. "You've slept with her, haven't you?"

"James, it's not like that. Not with her."

"Really now? I pray it's not. Talk to Lily." Sirius heard the phone being handed off between the couple.

"Sirius?"

"Hey, Lily…"

"How are you?"

Sirius rubbed his face. "Well, I was doing pretty well until I talked to James. Now I feel like shit."

Lily laughed. "Now you know what I have to live with every day. Sirius, what did you really want to talk about?"

_Finally, someone I can talk to!_ "Lily, this girl isn't just a quick lay. I think you know that, right?"

"I know, love."

"But I can't commit to her right now. First of all, it's too soon. However, most importantly, it's too dangerous, and there's no way she can protect herself and her family. Voldemort is too powerful to let any muggle get too close." He sighed. "I have to leave tomorrow. I can't stay around this girl."

Lily's sigh echoed his. "Sirius, usually I'd tell you that if you love her, go after her, but right now, you have a point. It _is_ dangerous, and the best place for her at the moment is right where she is. However, don't hurt the girl, and don't just drop her. Remember: you're in school. She won't understand why you've just left. Keep in contact; just don't lead her on. You're both young. If it's meant to be, she'll still be there."

Sirius nodded although Lily couldn't see her. "I know. I'm supposed to be here for brunch tomorrow, then I'll leave. Gods, Lily…"

"I know, Sirius. I know."

* * *

Rachel lay in bed, dozing, but not quite asleep. She glanced at the clock. _5:33._ Rolling on her back, she sighed. The girl had slept surprisingly well last night considering what had happened before her parents had returned. Although she regretted Sirius not being her first, she was happy that there wouldn't be any mess to explain to her mother.

A light knock came at her door, surprising her. _Who could be here this early?_ She called for the visitor to come in and wrapped herself in her blanket, smiling when she saw _his_ dark locks peek in.

"Are you sure? How late do your parents usually sleep?"

"Pretty late when they've been out all night. Come here, you." Sirius grinned and jumped in her bed after closing and locking her door quietly. He kissed her neck, leaving a trail all the way up to her mouth.

"I want to talk, but," he smiled at her moan, "but that can wait a bit." He continued kissing her, working his way down until she was begging him for more than his mouth.

Once they were spent, Sirius laid back and wrapped his arms around Rachel. "I'm leaving after brunch."

Rachel sat up, looking at the man who had just given her the best night of her life. "Brunch? Why? I thought you were going to stay a few _days_!"

"I talked to James last night. He needs me back now. I'll visit again before Easter hols; I promise." He took a deep breath, looking like what he was about to say was enough to cause him literal pain. "Rachel, like you said in your letter, we have no ties to each other. You're wonderful, and I'd be lucky to have someone like you. I'll take that journal, write you every day, but if you know what's good for you, when you get out of school, you'll finish college and find a nice guy who can be there for you, and only you. I'm just not that guy, no matter how much I want to be."

Rachel's black eyes seemed to darken even more than they already were. "You know, I don't have to be one of your whores, Sirius. Stay for brunch; my parents would be hurt if you didn't. However, I won't see you there. Leave my room, please, and don't hope to ever darken my door again."

Sirius hung his head and dressed slowly, not looking at Rachel as he did so. As he reached the door, he said, "Happy Christmas, Rachel."

"Fuck you, Sirius Black."


	8. Recovering

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

Rachel sat in her room, staring at the yellow tulip on her dresser.

She had refused to water the flower, hoping to let it die, just like her feelings for Sirius had on Christmas. Well…like Sirius _thought_ her feelings had. Instead, the flower still bloomed beautifully, never once fading.

Despite her still-strong feelings for Sirius Black, Rachel was pissed. It had been two months since their "break-up," and every time she thought of him, she seethed with anger. How dare he use her the way he had? No matter the way she looked at it, Sirius was still the cocky, know-it-all man-whore he had been when she had first met him at that coffee shop in Islington.

She sighed. Yet, she missed the idiot. Her parents had continuously asked about him, wondering when he was going to come and visit again. She hedged, saying that he had been busy with classes at the university. However, Alice wasn't stupid. She had detected tension immediately when Sirius had come down for brunch on Christmas, and Rachel hadn't. Rachel had spent the entire day holed up in her room, crying on the phone to Bridget, who had offered a sympathetic ear and had vowed to hunt down the stupid son-of-a…

_Ring!_

Rachel started before going over to pick up the phone in her room. "Hello?"

"Rachel?"

"This is she. Who, may I ask, is this?" The voice sounded familiar.

"This is Ethan Howard. I'm in the area, and I was wondering if you had a date for Valentine's Day on Wednesday night? I know it's a school night, but with midterms coming up, we can both use a break, right?"

Rachel contemplated this proposal. Like Sirius said, they had no ties to each other, even though, as mad as she was, she was still writing to the imbecile every day. However, going out with Ethan couldn't hurt.

"Sure, Ethan. I'd love to go out with you."

* * *

Sirius paced back and forth, not hearing the study door opening. It had been too long since he had talked to Rachel; he had written long letters to her every day in the journal she had given him, but this not talking to her. He growled in frustration.

"Down boy! It's just me!" James patted him on the back. "So, the Rachel situation no better, I take it?"

"What does it look like?"

"Easy! I was just asking! We have to go out again tonight. Dumbledore is wanting someone to check out the Malfoys again, although why, I don't know. We all know Lucius and his dad are scum."

"Too true. Who all's going?" Sirius had started to feel cooped up in this house. He had just received word of his father's demise. No one could really tell him what had happened to the old man, and Sirius hadn't really asked. His mother hadn't asked him to attend the funeral. He was sure he wouldn't have been welcomed.

James took in his friend's anxious expression. "Just you, me, and Remus. I don't know where Peter's gotten off to. He said he was going to visit some family or old friends or something. Batty, that one is."

"But we love him," they said together, chuckling. Their friendship with Peter Pettigrew had been surprising to most at Hogwarts, but they had felt bad for the short, stubby kid and had taken him under their wings. They liked to rib him on his animagus form (rat), but other than that, they usually loved having him around, even if he was a tad odd.

"So…back to Rachel. You still haven't talked to her?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm backing off. 'Fuck you' isn't exactly an endearing good-bye. I've been on the receiving end of that one far too many times."

"But," James dug, "this one didn't sit as well as those others did, did it? This one actually hurt, am I right?" He laid his hand on his best friend's shoulder. He was surprised to hear a sniff.

"More than I care to admit." Sirius moved away and sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. "I was going to try to extricate myself slowly, telling her I had to leave early, that she should maybe consider other guys while I'm gone, that I'm not reliable…"

James sighed. "When exactly did you tell her this?"

"After I snuck into her room Christmas morning and shagged her brains out for the second time."

"Sirius!"

"I know! Not the best timing. However, I hadn't gone in there to do _that_; I had visited to tell her that I was going to be leaving. The other couldn't be helped. She's just…"

"I understand, mate. I have one myself. I know what Lily and I have told you, and we all know that it's too dangerous for her around her now, but I'll go ahead and tell you one thing, Padfoot."

Sirius cocked his head, resembling his animagus form. "What's that?"

"If you let this girl go for too long, and if she's as amazing as you've made her out to be, someone else will realize that, and you're going to regret it for the rest of your life."

Sirius suddenly thought of one person who could take _his_ Rachel from him and frowned. "I have to talk to her."

* * *

Rachel was getting dressed for bed on the night of the thirteenth, the night before her date with Ethan, when her phone rang. She shrugged on her t-shirt and went to answer.

"Hello?"

"Rachel? It's me." Rachel's breath caught. Unlike when Ethan called, _his_ voice had been instantly recognizable.

"Sirius?" Her moment of vulnerability passed, and her ire flared up again. "What do you want? I thought I told you…"

"I know! I…I just had to hear your voice. I made a mistake, leaving you when I did, like I did. That was incredibly insensitive of me, and you didn't deserve it. It's been hell here without hearing your voice these last couple of months. Lily almost decked me when she heard what I did, or at least the part about me leaving so soon the way I did. I don't…I still don't have anything more to offer you, but I can't have you hating me."

Rachel sat on her bed, thinking. He still wanted the freedom their "relationship" offered. How did she feel about that?

"Sirius? I'm really confused right now. Two months ago you were telling me to finish school, get my degree, and find a husband. Now, you want me to let you walk back into my life for the occasional shag? How is that going to help me at all?"

Sirius sighed on the other end of the line. "It's not; I'm being incredibly selfish right now. I just miss you so much, and…"

Rachel needed some questions answered. "Sirius, tell me the truth. Why can't you offer me more right now? I know there's something between us. I'm not stupid."

"No, you're not. My family has always had a plan for me; graduate from Hog…the same private school they did, get married to some 'high-society-girl-who's-probably-my-cousin,' and produce inbred children who do the exact same thing. Rachel, I can't do that. I can't even think about marriage or commitment right now, even to one as amazing as you are, without a foul taste coating my mouth.

"If I could offer you a future, I'd be right there with you right now, forgetting this damn college in favor of one at least within driving distance of you. I'm staying away to protect you and me. I can't…I can't shackle you down with a bum who won't commit. Can we be at least good friends, Rachel, or have I blown it?"

Rachel was crying by now, not because she was mad any longer, but because she was hurt from what she had lost. She had lost a future with Sirius before she had even had a chance to let it blossom into anything more than a quick shag.

"I have one question."

"Ask away."

"What did Christmas mean to you?"

Sirius took a quick breath before answering. "It was…the best night I've ever had. I loved spending time with you, your family, Bridget…What happened after was just icing on the cake, Rachel."

She nodded even though Sirius couldn't see her. "I have a date," she blurted.

Silence. Then, "When?"

"Tomorrow night. Valentine's Day, Sirius, or had you forgotten?"

"I guess I had. That's good, then. Who's the lucky fellow? One of your classmates?"

Rachel smiled a bit at this. He couldn't keep a slight edge of jealousy out of his voice. "It's with Ethan. He's in this week on break, so he's taking me out to dinner, possibly a show."

"Ethan Howard, huh? He's a good bloke, I guess." Sirius paused before, "Am I still welcome at your house? You know, just to visit? Do your parents hate me?"

"They know nothing, Sirius. I told them that there was nothing official between the two of us, so they didn't ask too many questions when I told them that I was going out with Ethan tomorrow night. You're welcome; their offer still stands."

"And you? I really need to go; I, uh, have somewhere I _really_ need to be, but I need some type of forgiveness from you, Rachel, before I let you hang up tonight. I can't take not hearing from you for another two months."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll see you for Easter holidays, okay?"

* * *

_This is borderline stalking, Sirius!_ he thought to himself as he ambled along after the laughing couple. Ethan Howard and Rachel Bartwell had just left _Le Café de Fleur_, which was benefitting well from the Valentine's Day crowd, and was heading toward the local theatre. Sirius padded behind them, but the two would never know.

"Ethan! Look at the beautiful dog! That long, black coat is just lovely!" Rachel had spotted him.

James would be laughing his ass off at him right about now, but he could almost feel Lily's disappointment as Rachel rubbed her hands over his "lovely coat."

"Rachel, love, we need to get to the theatre. Our show starts in twenty minutes." Ethan came forward to give a pat to Sirius, but at the word "love," Sirius bristled at the man.

"Ooh, he must not like men, Ethan. Come on, let's go then. Bye, pretty dog. You'd better find your owner before the dogcatcher finds you!" She sent him that dazzling grin as she waved before Ethan took her hand into his.

Sirius let them go on, following them more subtly where they wouldn't see him. Once they reached the theatre, he snuck into an alley and changed himself back, walking back out and down to a coffee shop. Sitting in a booth where he could see the comings and goings from the theatre, he ordered a coffee from the pretty waitress who looked like she'd had a long day.

"Alone tonight, handsome? Don't you know what day it is?"

"Too well, ma'am. What's a pretty girl like you doing working on Valentine's Day?"

She sighed. "Paying my way through college, apparently. You at the university?"

"I'm taking a few classes. I haven't seen you around. What's your major?"

The girl smiled. Sirius was the only customer for now, so she relaxed at the friendly stranger's questions. "Teaching. I want to teach."

Sirius grinned, remembering his and James's antics in school. "Noble profession. It takes quite a person to take that on. Hope you're patient."

"I try. I assume you're speaking from experience?"

"Student's experience only. My best mate and I were quite the pranksters in school."

The two's conversation carried on and off for another two hours until Sirius noticed the theatre letting out. "Hey, I need to go for now, but how about I come back by when you get off? Walk you home or something?"

The girl smiled. "That sounds great. I get off at eleven. I'm April, by the way."

He thought fast. "Ryan. Nice to meet you."

Sirius snuck back into the alley, changed back into his animagus form, and found Rachel and Ethan in the crowd. The two went straight back to the Bartwell house (it was a school night after all!). He listened to the couple's goodbyes.

"I had a really great time, Ethan. Thanks for the call."

"I'm just shocked you accepted. I know you're with that Black fellow…"

Rachel held her hand up. "Oh, no. We're not together. We're just friends, Ethan. A relationship won't work out with us two. Conflicting personalities, I guess you could say. We're working on a sort of friendship right now."

Ethan contemplated this. "That's too bad. He seemed like a nice guy. However, if he were still in the picture, it'd make it really awkward after this." And with this, he leaned in and kissed Rachel, and she let him.

Sirius couldn't watch anymore. After all, wasn't this his fault? Hadn't he told Rachel to go for it, to find someone else who could offer her some sort of stability? If he knew anything, he knew that Ethan Howard was stable. He ran back to the coffee shop and into the alley, changing back.

April was just walking out with her coat as Sirius walked up. "Am I late?" Sirius asked.

"Not at all. We just closed up a few minutes early. Come on, I live in a small flat right off campus. It's not too far." The two's conversation picked up where it left off before. As they reached her flat, she turned to him.

"Ryan," Sirius winced at the fake name. He couldn't risk Rachel knowing that he had been in the area tonight. For all he knew, this girl could be friends with Rachel. "Ryan, I just want you to know that I don't usually invite random customers up here. I'm not that type of girl."

Sirius shook his head. "I…"

"No, let me finish. I know I probably won't see you again after tonight. I know you were sitting in that coffee shop waiting for someone, someone who doesn't belong to you anymore. We're a lot alike, Ryan. I just want you to know that I don't expect anything out of you after this. I just…I just don't want to spend Valentine's Day alone, and although I'm sure you wish you were with_ her_…"

She was cut off by Sirius's lips. He needed this, someone to take the pain off of what he had just seen. "Happy Valentine's Day, April," he whispered, pulling back. "We'll talk about all of this nonsense in the morning.

* * *

Rachel sat in her room, staring at her phone, willing it to ring. Finally, when she couldn't take it anymore, she looked down at the paper on which was written the number Sirius had given her in case she ever _needed_ him. God, she needed him now…

Her date with Ethan was…perfect. He held her chair for her, opened doors, complimented her, and the list continued. The only problem was that it wasn't _him._

The phone rang three times before someone answered.

"Hello?" It was a woman.

"Umm…I'm looking for Sirius. This is Rachel; he gave me this number…"

"Rachel!" The woman on the other end brightened considerably. "I've heard a great deal about you. This is Lily Ev…Potter. Shit, still think of myself as an Evans sometimes. It's great to finally talk to you!"

"Lily? The famous Lily Potter? There should be books written from what Sirius has told me about you and your husband."

"Sirius just likes to talk. Speaking of the…he's not here right now. He pops in and out of here so much, it's a wonder he gets anything done." A light bang sounded in the background. "James, Remus, I told you both that those two don't go together! You're going to get yourselves killed, and Albus will kick me out of here!" She came back on the line. "Sorry about that. It's like living with children, these men."

"I'll let you go, but while I have you on the phone, I have a question. I know you don't know me well, but you know Sirius. What could be his reasoning behind what he did? I assume he's told you."

Lily lightly laughed. "There's little that Sirius doesn't tell me or James. He doesn't do it to brag, but he comes to us for advice, especially since James and I got together. Says he needs advice from an 'old married couple.' Sirius has his reasons, but I'm sure he's told you about his parents?"

"He has, but to sleep with me and just…"

"Exactly. The poor guy doesn't know how to do anything else. Rachel, he told me that he's reached out to you in friendship, told you to go finish school and build a life without him."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "He has, but…"

"I'm not saying Sirius Black won't ever come around. However, I'm also saying it might not be anytime soon. You could be an old maid before you ever have a chance at a committed relationship with Sirius Black. That's just who he is. I love him, and I've grown to like you a good bit. I think you two would be wonderful together, but I also like you enough to tell you to listen to him; he knows what he's saying. He's a smart guy. He truly doesn't want to hurt you."

Rachel sighed. "I went on a date tonight with a friend of mine. I told Sirius about it last night; I don't know how he reacted to it. On the phone, he seemed okay, but I can't tell anything until I can actually see his face."

"I haven't seen him since last night. James, Remus, and he had to go on an errand for our landlord, and he was gone this morning when I got up. If you'd like, I'll tell him to call you back as soon as he gets in, or at least by tomorrow evening, since I'm sure you have classes tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"That'd be great. And Lily? Thanks."

"I enjoyed talking to you. Good night, Rachel."

* * *

Sirius woke up to blonde hair obscuring his vision. _April_. For once, he had spent the night with a random girl without the influence of alcohol. He buried himself a little deeper under the covers to ward off the morning chill of the apartment. The movement awakened his bedmate.

"Ryan?" Sirius winced again, but justified the name in his head. _My middle name's _Orion_; it could happen, right?_

"Yeah, it's me. How'd you sleep?"

"Well, I hope it's you. Otherwise, I'd be in some deep shit right now. As for your question, I slept wonderfully. How about you?"

"I slept well. You snuggle."

April laughed. "As do you. But hey, it's cold in February, and it was Valentine's Day. We had an excuse, right?"

"Well, it wasn't Valentine's Day the last couple of times, but we'll go with that. You want breakfast?"

She looked at the clock and frowned. "Actually, I have class in about an hour. What about you?"

Sirius shook his head. "Not today. I do need to head home, though, and let my roommates know where I've been." Silence hung over the two, and the awkwardness began to creep in.

"Ryan…"

"It's Sirius."

"What's serious?"

He laughed. "No, April, my _name_ is _Sirius_, spelled S-i-r-i-u-s. Sirius Black. I'm sorry to admit that Ryan is part of my middle name and that I usually don't go by my real name with girls I don't know."

April bit her lip and seemed to be thinking. "I guess I get that?"

"And…" Sirius continued, "I didn't want it to get back to the girl I looking for last night that I was in town. We're trying the whole 'friends' thing, and I'm not adjusting well. I actually go to school on the continent; I'm just here on break for yesterday and today."

The girl nodded. "My last boyfriend didn't even want to be friends, even though I didn't want to. He just found someone else better, I guess."

"Hey, you're great, and I don't regret last night one bit. I know what we said before, but how about this: I visit this area often. What do you say about getting together for dinner or something next time I'm in the area? I'm not great with relationships, which is why I'm stuck looking in on my…uh…Rachel without her knowing. But I really like you, and I'd like to get to be friends."

"You have a habit of shagging and _then_ putting girls in the 'friend zone'?"

"No. I just don't have the heart to do anything more to them."


	9. Relationships

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

"Sirius Black, where have you been?!" Lily turned from the stove, her attempt at cooking breakfast forgotten for the moment.

Sirius stopped in his tracks. "Uh, out?" He had never felt like he had to justify his actions to his best friends before. What had changed? "Why do you ask, _Mother_?"

Lily's eyes narrowed as James hid behind _The Daily Prophet_. "We expected you in early last night! You didn't even tell us where you were going when you apparated out!"

"Why does it matter?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, there _is_ a demented Dark Lord out there, and we do have prices on our heads. We thought something might have happened!"

"Nothing happened. I just…I just went to…ah…Beaconsfield for a bit."

Both Lily and James sported raised eyebrows at this. "Beaconsfield, you say?" James smirked. "Isn't that where…"

"Yes! She had a date last night, and I wanted to know if the bloke was good enough for her." Sirius sat down at the table and laid his head down on the surface. He felt Lily's hand on his shoulder.

"I guess I can tell you weren't too happy about her date, then."

"I guess…wait. What?! Tell her? Have you talked to her?" Sirius sat up and looked at Lily with panic stirring in his chest. _Why would Rachel call the house? Was something wrong? Why were they talking about him? Was she okay? Did Ethan try something?_ Sirius couldn't help but growl at that last thought.

James laughed. "Love, you need to go ahead and tell him. He's going to have a coronary over there if you don't, or he's going to attack the next innocent bystander."

Lily nodded. "Sirius, while you were out doing whatever you were doing, Rachel was in her house calling you, so I know you weren't creepily following her all night. She called here at around eleven-thirty last night."

"What did she want?"

"You should call her this evening and find out. She has classes today, so she won't be home. But Sirius, don't keep confusing this girl! She can't be happy with anyone else because she's holding out for you. I know you love her, and I know you feel like you can give her everything, but Sirius, you can't. We don't know how long this war will continue, and we don't know if we'll even be alive tomorrow. Look at us: we're at the front lines, battling Voldemort himself sometimes. He hasn't been happy with us for a long time, but he's especially hostile since we refused to join his forces. Imagine what he would do to a muggle!"

Sirius sighed. "I know."

Lily began rubbing his shoulder with her hand. "Do you think she could be happy with this Ethan fellow?"

"Possibly. Personally, I find him quite annoying, but he's a good guy. He really seems to care for Rachel."

Lily nodded. "Well then, it sounds to me like you need to talk to Rachel. Why don't you go visit her? You two need to talk this out face-to-face." James nodded his agreement.

"Okay. I'll be waiting on her when she gets out of school."

"Now, answer my question. Where were you the rest of the night?"

Sirius blanched. James seemed to notice his change in expression. "What's up, mate? Meet some bird and…," but he stopped he saw Sirius's white face. "You didn't!"

Lily heard James's comment and turned. "Sirius?"

"I…uh…yeah. You know me. I was following Rachel and Ethan, as a dog, mind you, and while they were in the theatre, I went into a coffee shop. I started talking to the waitress, we hit it off, I offered to walk her home after work, and after seeing Rachel snog Ethan at her front door, I couldn't care less anymore, so I went home with April. She somehow knew I was waiting on someone, and she had just had a bad break-up. April told me that she wasn't expecting anything from me, that one night was enough. I…I just couldn't think about Rachel and Ethan together last night."

Lily sighed. "Sirius, this isn't healthy. You can't use people like this!"

Sirius, now somewhat angry with his friends' interference in his life, stood. "I didn't 'use' anyone. And if I did, she used me right back. I'm going to my room for a while. I'm not very hungry." With that, Sirius stalked out of the kitchen, edging by a confused Remus and Peter, who had just come down the stairs for breakfast. At their confused looks, James just shook his head and waved them to the table.

* * *

The school day dragged by, and Rachel couldn't wait to get home where she could wait by her phone for Sirius to call. _Wow, I'm pathetic! He may not even call…_ Rachel moped around from class to class all day, and one particular blonde noticed.

"Okay, Rache, what's up? Was your date with my cousin _that_ bad?" Bridget poked her best friend at lunch. She hated seeing her friend sad like this, and she hoped Ethan wasn't the cause of Rachel's attitude.

Rachel shook her head. "Oh, no. The date was wonderful. We had a great time, and Ethan was a perfect gentleman."

"Then what is it?"

The girl looked like she wanted to hide something from Bridget, but then she relented. "He's not…"

"Sirius, right?"

Rachel nodded. "Ethan's so wonderful, and I know I could fall for him if I let myself. Sirius and I are over; I know that. But after our date last night, stupid Rachel called his house. Luckily, he wasn't home, but I talked to Lily, one of his best friends. She told me that Sirius wouldn't have 'let me go' had he not had his own reasons." Rachel sighed as she picked at her food. "He's supposed to be calling me back tonight. I have to get over this guy. We didn't even 'date,' and I'm losing my head over him!"

"But you slept with him. That's not something to be taken lightly!"

"I know." Rachel's eyes widened. "Do you think Ethan would be put off by the fact that I'm not…"

Bridget laughed. "No. He's not exactly innocent himself. However, if you want this to work with Ethan at all, I don't think you should tell him that you slept with _Sirius_. He's a tad intimidated by him." She stopped. "Do you want it to work with Ethan, Rachel?"

"I think I do. He's a great guy, and I know I'm young, but he's supportive of my going to college and becoming a nurse. If anyone can get Sirius Black out of my head, he can."

However, at ten after three that afternoon, Rachel was having second thoughts about that. When she stepped out of the school, she was heading toward her bus when she heard a familiar voice say, "Does it count as stalking if I let my subject _know_ I'm following her?"

Rachel spun around to face an amused Sirius Black. "Sirius! How did you…?"

"It's the closest school to your house. I hoped I had it right. If not, I was going to your house later on. So, can we talk somewhere?"

"There's a park nearby. Let's go there." The two walked in silence to the park, Sirius taking Rachel's slightly heavy bag from her. They found a bench and sat staring, Rachel at the lake in front of her, Sirius at Rachel.

Sirius began. "Rachel…"

Rachel shook her head. "Listen, you're right. You're gone all of the time, and I…I'm not ready to be just one of your girls, Sirius. You're amazing, and I think that we can be great friends. However, your life just doesn't merge with mine right now. I'll be graduating soon, and I'm already applying to universities around here. I've even applied to Manchester, where Ethan is. I…uh…I'm really trying to make this work with him. I know I'm young," she began, using the same argument she had just used with Bridget, "but Ethan is almost through with school, and he's ready to settle down. He told me last night that his feelings for me have matured over the last year, and I've liked him for a long time."

Sirius nodded. "Rachel, I would go into a deep, philosophical discussion about your use of the work _like_ there instead of _love_, but you know how you feel about the bloke. I didn't come here to win you back. I truly believe Ethan Howard is better for you than I am. I…" his blue eyes stared into hers, "I'm no good. You need a guy who'll be there. I can never be that guy, Rachel. I don't have it in me. I lo—care for you too much to even pretend I can."

_Did he almost say he _loved_ me? _Rachel shook her head. No, even if he did, she had to ignore it. "Sirius, will you still write me? Call me? Married or not?"

"Of course. Ethan won't have a problem with us talking?"

"I never said that. But if Ethan and I continue dating, I'll have a talk with him. Let him know that we're friends." _Although I'd like nothing more than to push you up against a building and…_ She shook her head subtly.

Sirius nodded. "That'd be great. Now, would you like to go get a bite to eat, _friend_?" He grinned.

"Sure, _mate_; just let me let my parents know where I'll be. There's a phone booth around this corner."

Sirius leaned up against the booth, watching Rachel as she talked to her mother, assuring her that she would be in early enough to get to bed at a reasonable hour. When she turned to flash him a grin, his heart melted a bit.

_How the hell am I going to let her go at the end of the day? Better yet, how am I going to let her go to that bastard Howard?_ As Rachel finished up, Sirius reached out to take her hand.

"I know the perfect place." The two walked down the street for a few blocks and found White Oak, a local restaurant with a terrace out back. The couple was seated at a secluded table, and their orders were taken quickly.

"So, Sirius, how's school?" Rachel took a long drink of her water as she looked across the table at her dinner companion.

Sirius thought for a moment on how to answer her. "Going as well as it can go. I'm struggling a bit at the moment with a couple of professors this term, but it should ease off in a couple of weeks." He internally laughed at the thought of Voldemort and his goons being described as "professors."

"So, Lily told you I called?" Rachel looked worried at his reaction, but Sirius just laughed.

"Yeah. How did you like her?"

Rachel grinned. "She's amazing, just like you said she was. James and Remus blew something up while we were talking. Poor thing; she has to deal with a houseful of grown children all of the time."

"You're defending her!? That woman threatens to kill us on a daily basis!"

"I'm sure she has her reasons. Sounds like you three…"

"Four."

Rachel tilted her head to the side. "Four?"

"There are four of us. Me, Remus, James, and Peter Pettigrew. Peter lives there most of the time, but he comes and goes a good bit. He's not in school, but I guess he just misses us too much to leave us for good." Sirius grinned cheekily.

"I feel even worse for Lily now. Four grown men and her? I'd have had a breakdown!"

"Oh, she has female company enough. Her friend Alice visits a good bit. She and her husband Frank Longbottom just got married around the time James and Lily got married."

"How long have Lily and James been together?" Rachel paused to allow the waitress to put down their food. "I mean, did they date all throughout school?"

Sirius guffawed and shook his head. "Hell no. Lily hated James's guts for the longest. He was an insufferable prankster and partner-in-crime of Yours Truly. What she didn't know for years is that he did most of what he did just to impress her. She separated herself from our group because at our school, status could be everything at times. Our group was immediately considered a 'higher' class because of our parents, but Lily was more brilliant than all four of us put together, except maybe Remus. James fell hard, and he and Lily were named Head Boy and Girl of our dormitories last year, which is a huge honor. He convinced Lily to go out with him, and Lily finally realized her hidden feelings for him."

Rachel shook her head. "Why was she so adamant for almost seven years?"

"James is a prick. He finally fell off of his high horse in our sixth year, knowing that Lily would never go for that type of guy. His changed outlook, her falling out with her best friend, and some sweet-talking from me all convinced Lily that James truly was a good guy."

The girl across from him took a bite of her pasta before answering. "You are too, you know."

"I'm what?"

"A good guy. You degrade yourself too much, Sirius. You're truly good, and I hope one day you really see how good you are."

The two teens' conversation varied for the rest of the meal. Finally, when they left, it was dark outside. Rachel turned to Sirius, surprised. "Wow. We were in there a long time."

"You know what they say about time and fun…" Sirius laughed and began walking. Rachel followed.

"Give me my bag, Sirius. I know it's heavy."

"It's not that bad. Besides, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you carry your heavy bag?"

They turned down an alley, a common route that Rachel deemed as a shortcut. Sirius began laughing. Rachel poked him.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking of our fondness for alleyways." He stopped and looked at her, stopping his laughter quickly. He deadpanned, "Our newfound friendship could be in serious danger, especially with how ravishing you look tonight in that sexy school outfit."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat. Sirius's eyes bugged with what he'd just said. _Shit! I've just ruined whatever chances of a friendship I ever had with her. What the hell kind of joke was that?!_

Sirius opened his mouth to apologize when he found her mouth on his, forcing the air out of his lungs. However, because of his lack of thought, he immediately pushed her back into wall behind her, pushing her lips to the side with his tongue. When he heard her moan, he dropped her bag and reached under her school shirt, feeling her skin hot on his fingertips.

"God, Sirius. I've missed you!" She reached down and grabbed his erection, which was already straining against his jeans.

"Rachel! Keep doing that and this won't last long at all." Sirius reached down and pulled aside Rachel's knickers, breathing in her ear the entire time. "Now, are you sure about this? You do know…?"

"Sirius, if you don't hurry up, this friendship will be over before it began!"

* * *

For the next few months, Rachel lived a double life. During the day, she was the studious, hard-working girlfriend of Ethan Howard who had plans to attend the University of Manchester to obtain a degree in nursing after high school. However, when no one was looking, Sirius would "fly in," or at least that's what he would tell Rachel, and would further their "friendship." Of course, he made sure on some of the visits to stop in and visit with Alice and Christopher, who insisted that he spend the night on occasion. This only pleased Sirius and Rachel further.

Rachel and Ethan's relationship, to Sirius's discontent, was moving rather rapidly. Alice was proudly displaying the two each time Ethan visited, and Ethan couldn't have been happier. He knew that Rachel and Sirius talked, but he hadn't a problem with it.

However, Rachel had a problem: guilt. One of the nights that Sirius was staying at the Bartwells, he and Rachel were lying next to each other, breathing heavily from their "activities." Rachel had been distant for the last week, and she knew she had to talk to Sirius about their relationship.

"Sirius…"

Sigh. "I know."

"When?" She turned and looked into his blue eyes, which were filled with a sadness that she couldn't define.

"Tonight. This has to be it, Rachel. I can't…If I don't cut myself off from you, physically, at least, I won't be able to let go at all. I'll be gone when you wake up in the morning, and I don't know when you'll see me again. We can talk on the phone, and we can write letters, but this…I can't _see_ you any longer. It's just too much, and not only you, but Ethan deserves better than this."

Rachel, feeling tears well up, nodded. She had grown to love Ethan in the past months; of course, what she felt with him was nothing compared to what Sirius brought out of her, but she loved him. "Sirius, go talk to April."

"April? How did you…""

"Apparently, she saw us together one day. A few days later, I went into the diner where she worked to grab something to eat, and she pulled me to the side and said that I must be the one Sirius let get away. If you can't be _that_ special someone, at least be a good friend to her as well, okay?"

Sirius squeezed the woman at his side. "Okay. I promise. Now, let me go to my room before we get caught."

As he moved to get up, Rachel grabbed his hand. "No, stay. The door's locked, and tomorrow's Sunday. No one will bother coming in. Just say here."

Sirius nodded and pulled Rachel closer.

The next morning, Rachel woke up and felt around. She was alone in her bed, but as she moved her arms around, her left arm, the one that had wrapped around Sirius last night, bumped something. She grabbed it and looked at the leather-bound book she found in her bed. Opening the first page she read:

_This book belongs to: Sirius Orion Black_

_December 24, 1978_

_Gifted by: Rachel Elizabeth Bartwell (Lovely girl, she is!)_

Rachel began crying when she realized what he had done. This was his ultimate blessing to her relationship with Ethan. She had told him should she or he ever find that "special someone," that he had to return the journal back to her. He apparently thought that she had found hers.

She gathered her journal, the one she had kept for him, and wrapped it up. She dressed and ran down to breakfast, where Sirius was entertaining her parents with some story from school or something.

"Sirius?"

He looked over questioningly. "Yeah, Rachel?"

"Happy late birthday. You were at school during it, and I didn't want you to leave without having this." She handed him the book. "I'm sorry to be taking off like this, but I promised to meet Bridget for some shopping today. Is that okay with you, Mum?"

Alice looked around. "Don't you want to stick around with Sirius? He's leaving…"

"Now, actually." Sirius stood. "I have to be back by this afternoon to help James and Remus with a few things. Sorry to eat and run like this. I'm always appreciative of your hospitality."

"Nonsense." Christopher spoke up. "You're always welcome! Come see us again soon," he finished, shaking Sirius's hand.

Rachel walked Sirius out and grabbed his hand at the door. "I can't wait to read your thoughts, Sirius. I only hope mine are as satisfying."

Sirius reached over and pecked her on the cheek. "Love, nothing about you could dissatisfy me." And with that, Sirius Black was gone.

* * *

_(A/N: Okay, the next chapter will probably be the letters to each other. I'm probably going to wrap this up in a couple more chapters. Who knows?)_


	10. Letters

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

_A/N: I'm putting dates from here on out…May get a tad confusing._

* * *

**April 1979 **

Instead of going shopping like she had told her parents, Rachel took Sirius's journal and walked to the park, finding a tree in a secluded spot to prop herself up and read his thoughts. She opened to the first page.

* * *

_December 25, 1978_

_Rachel, _

_I never can make things easy, can I? Exactly three hours ago, I left you crying in your bed, swearing that you never want to see me again. You don't know how hard it was for me to hear that._

_I'm so sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have let our relationship get this far, but you're so amazing, and I let myself think that I had a chance, just for a moment, to be someone in your life. To be __**him**__, the guy you could depend on forever. However, as much as I want that, it can never be._

_James tells me that I'll find a girl one day who'll break me, who'll force me to settle down. Lily was determined that you were that girl. I guess I'll get married one day…in the future…distant future, mind you. But now, I have too much shit going on in my head to be a proper catch for anyone. _

_I hope we can be friends again one day. I already miss you._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

* * *

Already crying, Rachel turned the page. The next few letters were short and choppy, like Sirius was busy but had forced himself to write _something_. One of these short letters caught her attention.

* * *

_January 25, 1979_

_My dad died yesterday. I'm not particularly upset about it, but I thought I should tell you for some reason. I'm not going to the funeral; don't think I'd be welcomed._

_You know what's funny though? I cried. Stupid bastard._

_Sirius_

* * *

Rachel wiped her tears, but more took their place as she thought about Sirius's reaction to his father's death. His father, the man who had disowned his teenage son just for thinking differently, for not wanting to hurt other people, had died hating his son, who had cried when he heard the news. Taking a deep breath, Rachel looked at her watch. Her eyes widened when she realized that she had been out for two hours. She closed the book and walked to a nearby pub for a quick bite to eat.

* * *

"What's this, love? I know every book in this house, but I've never see this one." Sirius looked up to see Lily examining Rachel's journal. He walked over and gently took it from his friend.

"Rachel gave that to me."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "I thought the one she gave you was bigger than that."

_Damn. I really need to quit telling Lily and James everything. _"It was. I, uh, when I left her house last week, I left mine with her, and she gave hers to me. We had agreed to exchange…"

"Oh. Gotcha." Lily Potter was a lot of things, but slow wasn't one of them. "Well, just don't leave it out. You know me and my books; I'm liable to pick it up and begin reading without a thought."

"Noted. I'm, ah, going to go out for a bit. I'll be back later." Sirius walked out and to the nearest apparation spot. Appearing in the dark alley near April's café, he looked around before stepping out.

As he walked in the café, he heard, "Sirius! You're back!" Sirius looked up to see his favorite waitress ease over to the door.

"April!" He grabbed the girl and hugged her. "How've you been?"

"Busy with school and work. How was your Easter?"

He thought back to the last weekend spent with Rachel. _Not good, mate. You can think about her, but not _that_ weekend_. "I've had better, honestly." He gave the girl another squeeze and moved to sit down in a corner booth. "Do you have any chips? I could really go for an order of them and a beer."

April seemed to understand the change in subject and nodded. "Of course. I'll go get that for you." When she left, Sirius turned to the book he'd lain on the table and opened the first page.

* * *

_October 23, 1978_

_Sirius,_

_You may think this book is silly or a waste of time, but I bought it for those times when I can't tell you things out loud. _

_I've just gotten through talking to you, but you seemed so far away tonight. I don't know where you are, physically or mentally. You've told me you're at university, but you've never given me details. Of course, it's not my place to ask, but it'd be nice to know._

_You seemed just as far away mentally tonight, Sirius. I could tell that you weren't focused on what I was saying. What's wrong, and why can't you confide in me? I've told you things that I've never told anyone, even after knowing you just two months. You know my dreams, my plans for the future, yet you won't give me the same. _

_Maybe it was just a bad night. I hope you're feeling better next time we talk, and if not, I hope you'll confide in me._

_Love,_

_Rachel_

* * *

Sirius shook his head with a slight smile on his face as he finished reading her first letter. Rachel was very observant, which is another reason it was good that they were finished with their relationship. Had they spent much more time together, she would have figured out that he wasn't at college at all and would have tried to figure out what he actually did.

Sirius moved throughout the book, looking for a particular letter, but stopping at the one dated a day earlier instead.

* * *

_December 24, 1978_

_Sirius,_

_It's after midnight, so it's technically Christmas, but you left my room before twelve, so… Sirius, I'm overwhelmed. I can't believe what just happened. You had to leave so quickly; we didn't really get to talk about anything except the colour of my knickers, but I hope that after this, your guard will come down a bit with me. _

_You're too…serious, for lack of a better term. I loved it tonight when we were together; I saw a side of you that I've never see before. You finally let yourself go, let yourself feel something. I can't wait to see you in the morning. Happy Christmas, Sirius._

_Love,_

_Rachel_

* * *

"Sirius? You okay?" April was standing over him, holding out his plate of chips and a cheeseburger in one hand and a beer in the other. "I brought you a burger too. You've lost weight since I saw you last."

Sirius gave a slight smile to the girl. "I'm okay. It's just been a confusing time since I saw you last. Rachel…"

"Ah. How's that going?"

"_Ah_ is correct. We're still friends. She's pretty serious about her boyfriend. I'm waiting for an engagement announcement after she graduates in June."

April looked confused. "But…I thought…"

"When you saw us the other day that we were dating again? Oh, no. Ethan might not like that." Sirius smirked a bit when he saw her mouth open.

"How did you know?"

"That you saw us? Rachel mentioned that you two had talked. Are you due for a break, April?"

She nodded, sat down his food, and went to the back. When she came back out, she had her own plate of food and a cup of tea. "Okay, now, talk. What happened with you two?"

Sirius sighed and told the girl everything, even about his and Rachel's physical relationship. She sat quietly, only moving to take a bite of food or a sip of tea every now and then. When he finished, she tapped the book in front of him.

"So, these here are letters to you? And you've written to her?"

He nodded. "We agreed to exchange once one of us found that special someone. I feel that Ethan is that person for her. He can provide for her, he supports her, he loves her…"

"As do you."

"I can't support her, April. I'm going through way too much to be the man she or any other woman needs. My job, the one I have apart from school, keeps me out at strange hours. I'm more wrapped up in it than I am in my classes. I can't dump that on anyone."

"Let her decide that." April laid her hand on his.

"She's chosen Ethan. I was good for a few good shags, and I'll always be her friend in a way I guess, but if she wants a good forever, she has Ethan."

April shook her head. "I'm tired of beating a dead horse. I get off work at three today. You want to catch a movie? You did promise me dinner or something next time you were around."

"I'll be here." When she took their dishes back to the kitchen, Sirius turned his attention back to the book in front of him and flipped to the next entry, which was covered in dark spots that Sirius could only assume were tear-stains. The writing was sloppy and showed Rachel's anger clearly.

* * *

_December 25, 1978_

_You selfish son-of-a-bitch. I really thought I loved you… I would have never given myself to you once, much less this morning again, had I known that you could just leave me like that. _

_I guess I'm being irrational, but damn it, I'm a seventeen-year-old girl! I'm allowed to be! Especially when this __boy__ man seems to be everything I could ever want. You don't expect me to get married, have babies, and be a normal housewife. You seemed to want me to succeed, to be whatever I wanted to be. Now, I'll never know that with you, will I? _

_Bridget's planning your demise, so I'd watch out if I were you. Don't let her catch you in these parts alone. Anyway, I'd better go show my face at dinner. _

_Thanks for the shitty Christmas, Sirius._

_Rachel_

* * *

"She loved me…" Sirius laid his head in his hands and took a deep breath. This was harder than it seemed. He quickly wondered if she had read his thoughts yet…

* * *

_February 13, 1979_

_Rachel,_

_Just had an interesting conversation with James. He knows why we can't be together. If Lily wasn't already here in the midst of everything, he'd be in the same position I am. Believe me when I say that I want to be there, with you, every single day. I'd drop school, this job, everything (short of James and Lily…they're kinda stuck with me) just for the chance to be with you._

_Love, I could give you the world. We could travel, see anything you want. However, you don't need someone to do that. I'm sure you'll find someone who can give you all that AND be there for you every night. Even though we have chemistry (and boy, do we!), we'd need more than that to live, and I just can't promise that. _

_I'm assuming if you're reading this, you've found that someone. Hold on to him, and don't let go. I'm here, and if he hurts you, well, let's just say I know some things that will make his toes curl. Advantages of having me for a friend, you know._

_Anyway, I'm sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

* * *

_February 14, 1979_

_Rachel,_

_Today was miserable. Thinking of you going on that date tonight is hell on me. I know Ethan's a good guy, but that doesn't make me like him or the situation any better. _

_I'm glad we talked last night. Hearing your voice and knowing that we're at least on speaking terms eased my thoughts enough that I actually got a little sleep last night. I miss seeing your face. Lily's about to drive me crazy here, worrying over me, saying I'm not healthy. However, I'll be okay…once I see you again. _

_Gods, I sound like a bird. Look what you've done to me, love. I guess I'd better quit writing, go talk to James about Quidditch or something…boost my masculinity…Have fun on your date tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do._

_Sirius_

* * *

Rachel's eyebrows crinkled. She was sitting up in her room, reading Sirius's journal. She had just talked to Ethan and made plans for Friday night as he was driving in for the weekend, but she just had to finish reading Sirius's thoughts today.

_What the hell is Quidditch?_ This wasn't the first reference to something she had never heard of. She looked back through the letters and found phrases that she didn't understand.

…_elusive as a snitch…hit me as hard as a bludger…may as well sent a Howler…_These all confused her, as well as his continuous references to "potions." Rachel mentally shrugged as she continued reading. _I'll ask him about them one day._

* * *

_February 15, 1979_

_Rachel,_

_I don't know what to say. I came to see you hoping to rekindle our friendship, and instead, I couldn't keep my bloody hands off of you! This isn't helping me let you go, which I know will have to happen soon. I can't keep going with you like this. However, it's like you're the strongest type of magnet, pulling me to you constantly. I vow I'll let you go, and the next thing I know, I'm in an alley shagging you senseless. _

_You're killing me. This relationship, or whatever it is, is literally driving me mad. I say I'll stay away, but we both know that's a lie. It's not right to you, but I really feel bad lying to Ethan like this. He's a good bloke, and he doesn't deserve our fooling around. _

_But, gods, I'm hooked._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

* * *

"Sirius? I've just clocked out. You ready to go?" Sirius looked up to see a smiling April with her coat. "I just need to run by my place and change, if that's okay."

"That's fine. Won't be a problem." The two walked back to April's flat, and Sirius sat on her couch, looking around for a moment, remembering the last time he was there. Sighing at the mess he called a life, he cursed Voldemort under his breath and took out Rachel's book. He had read through a good number of her letters, and he was almost through, but he had two more left.

* * *

_April 13, 1979_

_Sirius,_

_You come back tomorrow to spend the weekend with us. Ethan's not too terribly thrilled about you staying here, despite what he says, and who can blame him? I mean, I tell him continuously that I'm with him, completely devoted to him, yet…right now, that's a lie. I love Ethan, I really do. He's wonderful, and I can picture myself spending my life with him. However, Sirius, I'm also picturing that without taking you out of the picture. _

_If Ethan knew what we were doing every time you were around (which just so happens to be when he's away at school), he wouldn't have me. I almost want to tell him, just because I know I'm not worthy of him. However, I don't want to hurt him like that. I know that I don't have a future with you; you've told me that so much I'm calling it your mantra right now. I __**can**__ have a future with Ethan, and I'm not going to ruin that, no matter how much I crave you._

_I can't wait to see you tomorrow. _

_Rachel_

* * *

Sirius was vaguely aware of April sitting by him as he turned to the last page with writing on it.

* * *

_April 14, 1979_

_Sirius,_

_I'm sitting here, watching you sleep, and my heart's torn. On one hand, I want to say to hell with school and everyone else and follow you wherever you go, but I know that I can't. I'd never be able to live with the guilt, and I can't even be sure you'd take me with you anyway. You don't need me tying you down._

_On the other hand, Ethan's my future. He's the man who will support me through college, let me have a career, have children with me, make my mom happy, and just love me. Honestly, Sirius, as much as I love you (and I do, you idiot), he's everything you can't be, and I need him right now. In the morning, I'm giving you this journal, we'll swear to be friends, and we'll go our separate ways. _

_Goodbye, Sirius Black. I hope one day you find a girl you __**can**__ settle down for, even if that girl's not me._

_Rachel_

* * *

Sirius slowly closed the book and looked at April, who gave him a watery grin.

"You okay?"

He nodded. "I am. You set?"

"Let's go. If you want, you can leave that here until we get back."

Sirius nodded again and set the book down. The two walked out the door, intent on forgetting that last letter for a few hours.

* * *

_April 14, 1979_

_Rachel,_

_You're taking a bath, and I'm sitting here at the desk in "my" room, waiting on you to come out. I feel so selfish, and I feel like I've been using you, although I haven't. However, to anyone but me, and possibly you, that's exactly what it looks like._

_What does Bridget know about all of this? Is she aware that you and I are sneaking around? And your parents! They trust me so much, and I'm betraying that trust every time I'm here. They've been so wonderful to me, and…Okay, I'm babbling. Guilt has eaten at me for weeks, and I've finally let myself write it down. _

_Tonight, I'll let myself love you one last time. I'll know tomorrow, we'll be through. I'll leave, and we'll be "friends" once again. I'll leave you to your Ethan, and I'll go on to my next great adventure or something like that. You're amazing, love, and you'll be an amazing wife. I only wish I could appreciate that._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

* * *

Rachel wiped her eyes as she closed the book. She looked over at Bridget, who had found the book a couple of days before. Surprisingly, she hadn't been extremely angry at Rachel, but they had had some heated words, but the blonde had backed off when Rachel promised that she and Sirius had ended it for good and that she was completely dedicated to Ethan.

"You okay, Rachel?"

Rachel nodded. "I just had to finish. This is Sirius's blessing on my relationship with Ethan."

"I see that; I still don't agree with you sleeping with the guy while you're dating my cousin, but I guess you had to get this out of your system. You going to ever see him again?"

"I don't know. We're going to be friends, so we'll probably talk, but I doubt I'll ever extend the invitation for him to stay here again."

"Good on you. You'll be fine, Rachel. I'll make sure of it."

"I know. You just have to give me some time to get over him."


	11. The Wedding

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

**June 14, 1979**

_Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Bartwell _

_cordially request your presence _

_at the marriage of their daughter_

_Rachel Elizabeth Bartwell_

_to_

_Ethan Maxwell Howard,_

_son of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Howard,_

_on July 13, 1979 at 4 p.m_

_at St. Theresa's Catholic Church._

_RSVP…_

* * *

"Sirius, ah, you have mail…" Lily held the piece of mail out to him. He took it, knowing whom it was from. Rachel was the only on who had the house's address; she had asked for it a month before, and the two had exchanged a couple of platonic letters, mostly her asking about school and Sirius asking about her graduation, which he had attended (without her knowledge) a week ago.

He had accepted her relationship with Ethan, had accepted that she was no longer someone he could run to at the drop of a hat, especially with the Dark Lord getting more forceful in the wizarding world. The snake was particularly interested in the Order, which had forced them deeper into hiding.

Sirius read the invitation, and he felt Lily's hand on his shoulder, giving him comfort, knowing that no matter how "fine" he said he was with the arrangement, he would never be okay with Rachel being married to someone else. However, he had promised that he would not interfere with the girl's happiness, and he vowed not to go back on his promise now.

"I'm okay, Lil. I just need a little time to let it set in. I should have seen this coming for a while now. They'll want to marry before school starts, and I wouldn't be surprised for her to be sprogged up in no time, even though she swore to me that she wanted to finish school…"

"Sirius…"

"I mean, how much education can she really get with a baby? Surely she won't get pregnant immediately, right? I hope not." His eyes widened. "What if she's already…? No…She couldn't be. Not Rachel. She's smarter than that. She…"

"Sirius! Seriously, shut up! You're really getting on my nerves! I know you're still in love with the girl, but you let her go months ago. Now, do you feel up to going to the wedding in less than a month?"

"I may be getting over her, but I'm in no way able to see her marry another bloke. I'll send a gift, but I can't…No, I'm not going."

James, Remus, and Peter chose that moment to walk in. "Sirius, we have to go. There's been a Death Eater attack that Dumbledore wants us to check on close to Hogsmeade. Even though school's out for the summer, it's too close for comfort. He doesn't want the village compromised at all."

Sirius nodded at James, who had appointed himself a sort of leader of this home base, much to Lily's chagrin. The lady in question put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "Now, what am I supposed to do while you're gone? Knit?"

All four pairs of eyes shot up at that, but Remus was the only one brave enough to answer. "Lily, as much as you knitting would provide us with the entertainment we so greatly require, Moody sent word for you to be mixing up some Polyjuice for next month's Lestrange mission. The whole Order knows what would happen if we four would try to mix any potion…"

"Boom," chorused the other three marauders, which earned a smirk from Lily.

"Fine. I'll be the good little housewife and cook up the potions for you."

James grinned. "I promise I'll make a spot for you on the Lestrange mission. I don't know what we'd do without you, love." Sirius made a gagging noise as James bent down to kiss Lily before turning to the others. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

**June 30, 1979**

Rachel stared at her phone, wondering if she should call him.

He'd had his invitation for two weeks, and he still hadn't responded. _What did you expect? Just because you're 'friends,' you think he'd still feel comfortable coming to your wedding?_

She sighed, knowing that neither she nor Sirius was completely fine with being "just friends," which was why they hadn't seen each other since their last night together. They'd had a few phone calls, and a couple of letters had been exchanged, Rachel even showing the letters to Ethan, just to prove to her fiancé how much she wanted the relationship to work.

Although her friendship with Bridget was as strong as ever, with the blonde being her maid-of-honor, Rachel had taken to talking to an unexpected new friend: April Rogers, Sirius's friend from the café. The girl knew of the trouble between Rachel and Sirius, sympathized with her, and was basically there to hear her out. Bridget tried, but she couldn't quite understand what was so hard about letting this man go and being entirely faithful to Ethan.

"You love Ethan, but there will always be a place in your heart that will love Sirius Black, just like if he ever settles down enough, he'll always have you in some recess of his heart. I never pretended to try to take your place, Rachel, even the first time the two of us hooked up. I knew he was pining for someone important, and when I saw you two together that day, I knew exactly who that someone was." April and Rachel had been sitting on a bench outside of the café on April's lunch break when Rachel had approached the subject.

Rachel shook her head. "But that's not fair to Ethan, is it? My being split between the two?"

"Well, it depends on you, Rachel. Are you willing to do everything you can to make it work with Ethan? Sirius has stepped out of the way; he's done his part. I wasn't going to tell you this, but he comes into town regularly to see a few of his school mates, the Thomases, but he doesn't go around you because he doesn't want to confuse you. He doesn't want to make Ethan uncomfortable. Right now, he's dedicated to this _friendship_, and if you want Ethan, you would be too."

Remembering that conversation, Rachel steeled her resolved and turned from the phone. She would not call Sirius to see if he was coming to the wedding; if he showed up, he would just be there.

"Love, you home?" Ethan poked his head around the corner and into the office where Rachel was sitting filling out thank-you cards for gifts that had already been given to the couple.

"Right here, Ethan. Up to my neck in thank-you cards. A bride's work is never done, I guess." She smiled and met him halfway, kissing him.

"Come on, let's go grab a bite. You need a break, and I'm starving. Plus, I have something I want to show you."

The two left the house, letting Rachel's parents know that they would be later getting back to the house. Ethan grabbed some sandwiches and crisps from a local shop and the two drove toward Manchester.

"Love, why are we going here?"

"You'll see." And she did as soon as he stopped in front of a nice apartment complex not far from the university, but not close enough to attract the "college crowd." He went to the front desk and asked for specific key, and it was given to him with no questions.

When they reached the apartment, Rachel gasped in surprise. The apartment was lovely and spacious, perfect for the soon-to-be newlyweds. It had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a wide living area, and through the door was a large kitchen. Also through another door was a small study. Rachel turned to Ethan, who was giving her a wide grin.

"You like it?"

"I love it! Can we afford it and go to school? I know you're rooming with a couple of your mates…"

"We can afford it. I have my job, and you have your job already lined up, and both sets of parents have already given a sizeable donation to our checking account…you know them. It's kind of embarrassing, but let's not question it. They can afford it."

Rachel roamed from room to room before Ethan sat her down and the two ate picnic-style on the floor of the living area. They went downstairs and told the manager that they'd be ready to move in late-July, after their honeymoon.

The couple left the complex grinning, and Rachel had never felt more comfortable about the relationship than she did that very moment. She had her own place with the man she was going to marry, the man she loved, and it was as far away from any memory of Sirius Black as it could be.

* * *

**July 12, 1979 2:32 p.m.**

"Sirius, you're sure about this?" April looked at her friend from her spot on her couch. The man in front of her looked as composed as ever, but months of close friendship had opened up an ability to read Sirius Black's emotions that few people had. Sirius was panicked.

"I want to talk to Ethan, make sure he's what Rachel needs, make sure he's in this relationship for the right reasons. I can't talk to Rachel; not before the wedding. I…I'd beg her to run away with me. I just know it. However, if you could just get Rachel away from Ethan for a bit after the rehearsal tonight, I can get him alone."

April chewed her bottom lip, thinking. Sirius needed to do this, if nothing more than for his own sanity. Then she nodded.

"Okay. I'll do it. You just had better know what the hell you're doing."

* * *

**July 12, 1979 9:32 p.m.**

Ethan Howard walked out of the reception hall alone, humming happily as he reached his car. However, a shadow emerged from the dark.

"Ethan, could I have a word?" Ethan looked up to meet the intense blue eyes of Sirius Black, a face he hadn't seen in months, a face he'd hoped to never see again. He wasn't an idiot; Rachel still had strong feelings for this bloke, but she'd chosen _him_, Ethan Maxwell Howard. She was marrying _him_, not Sirius Black. He straightened up and nodded.

"What can I do for you, Black? It's been a while. Rachel's not here."

Sirius nodded. "I know. I wanted to speak to you alone. Could we go somewhere else? There's a small pub a block away…" Ethan gestured for Sirius to walk ahead, and the two men walked quickly to the bar, taking a booth in the back.

"Now, what's this about? Does Rachel know you're in town?" Ethan thankfully accepted the pint of ale set down before him, as did his table companion, who shook his head.

"No, I'm not staying. You're my purpose in Beaconsfield tonight."

"And what do you need with me? We've never spoken more than ten words at a time to each other."

"And that's my fault." Sirius took a long draw from his class, seemingly needing the courage. "I'm here because, whether I like it or not, I still love Rachel Bartwell. However," he started at Ethan's open mouthed protest, "I came to you instead of her because going to her wouldn't help matters any. I wanted to ask you a question."

Ethan sat for a moment and looked at the man across from him. Sirius Black could come in and, with one look, take his fiancée from him. However, he had stepped back, stepped out of the girl's life. He wanted to hear what he had to say. "What's that?"

"Do you truly love Rachel? What does she mean to you?"

Ethan was shocked; this was not what he had expected to come from Sirius. He finished his mug of ale and thought out his answer. Finally, he had it. "For years, I viewed Rachel as one of my little cousin's friends. Over time, she grew up, we had good times, but I saw her as a little sister I'd introduce to my girlfriends. I never saw her crush on me, not until Bridget told me last year. I noticed her right before she brought you home. However, I knew as soon as I saw you two together, I'd lost my chance.

"The chemistry you two had together was thick and strong. I'd accepted that I'd lost my chance with Rachel, but I'd fallen by then. When Bridget told me the problems you two were having, though, I didn't want take advantage, but I asked her out on Valentine's, just as friends. She told me that you two weren't right for each other, that you were gone for good. I'm not stupid, mate, but I let her lie. I continued to see her, hoping that one day she'd let you go for good. Finally, you were gone, and I had Rachel to myself.

"It sounds selfish, but I _needed_ her by then. I was willing to wait on her, willing to wait until she got you out of her system. I loved her that much, and I love her enough to marry her even though I know I'm not the only man in her heart. She is my world right now, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, whether she decides to go to school, have babies, or both, or neither. Rachel Bartwell is a special woman, and I plan to spend every day of my life showing her just how special she is."

Sirius looked intently at Ethan for a moment before nodding. "Thank you, mate. I hope you don't mind if I write Rachel, or even call her. We are giving this friendship thing a try. I won't be around, though. I know you two are great for each other, and I'm not going to interfere."

The two men stood, and Ethan shook his hand. "Not at all. Your letters and calls will be welcome. And Black?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll be welcome at our flat anytime. The _two_ of us would be glad to see you."

Understanding his meaning, Sirius nodded. "Thanks again, Howard. Have a great day, tomorrow. You're a lucky man."

"That I am."

* * *

**July 13, 1979**

Rachel and Ethan's wedding began after a day full of activity. Alice ran from place to place, making sure everything was in place, caterers were where they should be, musicians were ready for the reception, and finally back to the room where Rachel was getting ready.

"Mom, go get ready. Bridget's got this."

"But…"

"I appreciate your help, but you need to relax. I'll be okay. Go take a bath, breath, and put on that beautiful dress you bought last weekend. We'll be fine." Rachel hugged her mother before ushering her out the door.

Rachel sat back down in her seat in front of her vanity, watching in the mirror as Bridget worked with the nest that Rachel called hair.

"April off work today?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded. "She asked for the day off where she could come. She's great, isn't she?"

"She is. I really enjoyed myself last night."

"Me too." Rachel reached up to adjust a curl. "What did your cousin get himself into last night?"

"No clue. Something about meeting some friends. I'm glad you two aren't having a large wedding party. I think too many bridesmaids would have been stressful."

Rachel laughed at her friend. "You just didn't want to share the attention."

"That too." Bridget finished working on Rachel's hair, which was finally calm enough to fit the veil over. "You ready?"

"I am. Thanks, Bridget, for forcing Ethan to come over so much."

Bridget shook her head. "He was bound to notice you some time." A worried look passed over her face. "You don't think I pushed you together, do you?"

Rachel thought for a moment. "You didn't force anything. We wouldn't have been together at all, had it not been for you, but you didn't _make_ us. You had our best interests at heart."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

The women were escorted to the church by Christopher, and they arrived just in time. Walking down the aisle, Rachel thought back at Bridget's question: _Was she forced into this?_ When she reached Ethan at the end of the aisle, she looked into his beautiful hazel eyes.

She loved this man. She smiled at him, and his white teeth glared back at her, showing her just how happy she was making him. Rachel knew immediately that no one was forcing her into this, that she was willingly giving herself over to Ethan for the rest of her life. Ethan grabbed lifted her veil and grabbed her hands.

The ceremony was simple, but it was meaningful to all involved. Rachel was focused solely on the man in front of her, as he was focused on her. Only one person noticed the quiet, brooding man in black in the very back of the large church.

April waited until everyone left before she approached him. "Sirius?"

"Hey, April."

"Didn't think you were coming."

The pain in Sirius's eyes took her breath away. "She looks happy, doesn't she?"

"She _is_ happy, Sirius. Now, why don't you come with me? Let's go somewhere else. You can't be happy here."

He shook his head. "No, it'll look strange if you leave. Just…just give them this for me." April noticed a tear in his eye as he held out the beautifully wrapped gift to her. "Wait until she gets back, though, to tell her whom it's from."

April nodded and hugged her friend. "Call me. Be careful, Sirius."

"I will, love. Talk to you later." April watched as Sirius walked through the side door, but when she walked out right behind him, he was already gone, the echo of a car's backfire ringing through the air.


	12. Family

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

_A/N: The next couple of chapters will move quickly. Anyone who has read _Harry Potter_ knows the details of what went on before James and Lily were killed. I'm going to mention some of this, but I'll mostly focus on Rachel and Ethan (with some of Sirius's input.) This one's not as much an adventure as a prequel to my other story. Just filling in some blanks! BTW, I love reviews…just saying... _

* * *

**October 12, 1979**

It couldn't be. She had only been married three months, had just started college, and was working full time. Rachel looked down in shock.

Positive. She and Ethan were going to have a baby.

Rachel swallowed and breathed heavily. They had been so careful, both of them knowing how difficult a baby would be at a time like this. She threw the test in the garbage and cleaned up. She had to be at work in thirty minutes, and she'd been in class all day.

Ethan had told her that she didn't need to work, that she needed to focus on her school; however, she couldn't let him shoulder the responsibility for everything. She worked from four until closing at the local library; the librarian was a kind older woman who allowed the young bride to do her homework and study when she finished shelving books and straightening up the place.

No, work wasn't a problem. School, however, was tough, and she knew it wouldn't get any easier. _Especially with a baby on the way._ She immediately felt guilty for that thought, and her hand instinctively found her flat stomach. It wasn't the baby's fault. She and Ethan would care for this child the best way possible; they'd work it out.

_Now to figure out how to tell him._

* * *

**October 25, 1979**

"Lily, are you okay in there?" James Potter was worried about his wife. She had been sick for a week, and although it usually wore off during the day, some days, like today, she couldn't keep anything on her stomach.

The bathroom door opened, revealing a pale Lily Potter. "I've been better. You think Dumbledore could get Poppy to pay a visit? I don't want to risk St. Mungos, but I have to find out what's going on. I'm miserable."

James kissed her forehead. "Of course, love. Be right back."

Two hours later, Madam Pomfrey walked out of Lily and James's bedroom with her bag. "You can go on in, James. She's fine now."

James looked at the mediwitch with confusion but walked in anyway. Lily was sitting on the edge of their bed with wide eyes turned towards her husband. "James…"

He rushed to her side. "What is it, love? Poppy said you were okay."

"Physically, I guess I am, but James…I'm…" She looked at him with fear in her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

_Pregnant? And she's upset?_ "Lily! That's amazing! We're going to be parents!" James kissed his wife before looking her in the eyes again. "What's wrong?"

"James, we're basically in hiding! We can't even go out without looking over our backs for Death Eaters! I'm _muggleborn, _if you don't remember, and Voldemort's not too pleased with us already! He's tried to get to us twice, and he's not going to stop! Who are we to bring a baby into _this_?!"

James rubbed his face. "Love, I know it's dangerous, but we're not the only ones expecting right now. Remember? Alice Longbottom just came by two days ago and shared her good news! You two can raise your kids together. We'll work it out. You were the brightest witch in school, and you're living with the Marauders! We'll be fine!"

Lily showed a sign of a smile then. "What would you like…boy or girl?"

"Oh, a boy would be great, especially if he was as well-behaved as his Uncle Sirius and me…" He laughed at her skeptical face. "Of course, a little girl would be wonderful as well, especially if she inherited those gorgeous green eyes and her mum's intellect."

She shook her head. "Let's go tell the boys. Come on!"

* * *

**November 17, 1979**

"So, how's life?"

Rachel sank further into the couch, glad it was Sunday. Classes weren't in session, and the library was closed, giving her a chance to rest. Ethan had gone out to buy a few things from the store, but he had insisted that she stay home and prop up her feet.

He had taken the news of the baby a lot better than she had expected. He was excited, and he told her that they would find a way, even if one of them had to quit his or her job and plan their schedules so that one would be home with the baby at all times.

"Rachel?" She was drawn back to the deep voice on the other end of the line. _Sirius_.

"Life's good. Very busy, you know, with school, work, and everything."

"Don't I know it? Life is hectic around here too. Lily just found out that she's expecting. She's due in July."

Rachel's eyes bugged out. "Really now? That's great!"

Her answer must have sounded off to Sirius because he was silent a moment before, "You okay?"

She shook her head. Of course he could hear something different in her voice. This was Sirius, after all. "I, ah, found out that I'm expecting as well. Found out about a month ago."

His voice was quiet. "Congratulations, Rachel. Why didn't you call and tell me, or at least write?"

"It was actually a shock. I didn't tell Ethan until two weeks ago. We weren't planning on having kids this early in our marriage. It just _happened_."

"Do you regret it?"

"NO!" The word popped out, but she was more sure of it than anything she had ever said in her life. "I don't regret this baby. We're figuring it out; we'll be ready when he or she comes."

Sirius laughed lightly. "Oh, I don't doubt that. You'll be a great mum. James has already declared me godfather of this one here. I'm betting it'll be a boy. They want to name the baby Harry James if it is…I think Sirius Junior is more suitable, don't you?"

Rachel laughed as she heard Lily in the background, "Sirius Orion Black! The day I name my child after you is the day they put me in the grave! Give me that phone!"

Murmurs were exchanged as Lily came on the line. "Rachel! You're pregnant?"

"Oh yeah. Found out a month ago. I'm due in June."

"That's marvelous! Maybe when the craziness here calms down, and when you get a break from school, we could have playdates with our kids! My friend Alice just found out that she's pregnant as well, so…"

"That'd be great, Lily. Congratulations to you and James. And Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't name that poor child Sirius Junior. The child would never stay out of trouble!"

Lily laughed. "Don't worry. You thought of any names?"

"Not really. Ethan mother has a Spanish heritage, so we may play with those types of names. Maria stands out to me."

"Beautiful. Oh, well, Sirius is giving me the evil eye over here. I'll talk to you later!"

Sirius got back on the phone. "So, Sirius Junior?"

"Sirius…I'm not naming my child that either!"

"Killjoy."

Right about then, Ethan walked through the door with bags of groceries. "Rachel, I'm home!"

"I need to go, Sirius. You take care, okay? Tell James to take care of Lily?"

"Of course. Tell Ethan congratulations for me. Love you." _Click._

Rachel stared at the phone before putting it back on its cradle. _Damn that man! _She shook her head and headed into the kitchen to help her husband put up the groceries.

* * *

**March 23, 1980**

"Rachel, you need to quit your job."

The very-pregnant, annoyed woman in bed glanced over at her husband. This wasn't the first time he had suggested this.

"Ethan, I still have three months left. I'm okay!"

"That's not the only thing. You're working yourself to exhaustion! I know you say that the library work isn't that hard, but, love, it is. You're on your feet for five hours _after_ being in class all day! Even if you weren't pregnant, I wouldn't like you doing this. My job is part of my schooling; I'm interning with a professor and doing research that I get paid for! I didn't have to go out to get a job. We can make it on what we have without you working you and Maria sick!"

_Maria._ They were having a little girl, and Ethan was ecstatic, as was Rachel. She would be named Maria Gabriella Howard, and Rachel hoped that she inherited Ethan's eyes.

"Fine."

Ethan's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I said fine. I'll quit. I don't want to put the baby in danger. Plus, it'll give me time to get her room ready." Ethan smiled and sat by his wife.

"I talked to Black today. He called and said he wanted to come over. He has a gift for Mary."

"Sirius? Called you? Okay…when is he coming?" Rachel was confused. Since when had Sirius been on such good terms with Ethan?

"He doesn't want any confusion between us, so he thought it best to call me. And I suggested Friday night. Is that okay?"

"Friday's fine. And back to the baby…Mary? You're already giving the baby nicknames?"

"I didn't even think about it. So, what do you want for dinner? Any strange cravings?" At Rachel's big grin, Ethan rolled his eyes and grabbed a notepad, ready to go out to purchase dinner for her strange food wants.

* * *

**March 26, 1980**

_Am I dumb, or what?_ Sirius was standing outside of the Howards' apartment, waiting on someone to come open the door, questioning the intelligence of his decision to come see Rachel. _And Ethan_, he reminded himself.

The door opened, revealing a very pregnant Rachel Howard. Sirius's greeting was lost as he took her in. Lily's pregnancy should have prepared him for this: the glowing skin tone, the stupid grin, the extra curves…_Gods…_

"Sirius! You made it!" She ushered him in, taking his light coat from him, babbling about this and that behind him. "Ethan's not home yet. The lead professor on the research team asked him to stay late for something or other. He tried to explain it on the phone, but although I'm usually pretty in-touch with his work, this project's gone over my head!"

Sirius turned to look at the girl again, and he grinned. "Something went over your head? I don't believe it!"

"Believe it. Now, do you want a drink?"

"Scotch, please ma'am." Sirius watched Rachel as she moved around the living area, and he sat quietly on the couch. Giving him his drink, she sat by him.

"How've you been, Sirius? I haven't talked to Lily in a few weeks."

"We're all good. Been busy with everything, you know, work and all. Lily's progressing about as quickly as you are, although she's not as far along as you. She thinks Harry'll be born at the end of July."

Rachel rubbed her stomach. "Maria here will be born at the end of June, or at least that's what the doctor says."

The two talked of inconsequential things until Ethan showed up thirty minutes later. Dinner was served, and the three had an excellent meal, Sirius praising Rachel's cooking many times. Over coffee, Sirius handed over a gift wrapped in pink wrapping paper.

Opening it, Rachel found a stuffed black dog. It looked like any other stuffed animal, and Rachel was a tad confused.

Sirius explained, "I've given Lily one as well. His name's Padfoot. I don't see myself ever having kids, or even being married. However, I feel a special connection to these two sprongs, and I have never even met them. This dog is my way of looking out for them, a watchdog of sorts. I think it's also pretty cool that maybe one day these two kids will meet and maybe be friends. You never know, right?"

Ethan laughed a bit there. "You're something else, Sirius Black. Thanks for the gift. We'll make sure it goes in Maria's crib."

Rachel looked a Sirius with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Sirius. This was thoughtful of you."

He couldn't tear his eyes away. "No worries, Rachel." Standing up, he stretched. "It's getting late. I need to head back home. It's good seeing you two."

Ethan shook his hand. "Good to have you. Thanks again, mate." Turning to Rachel, he said, "I'm going to run take a shower. That lab can wear on a person." She nodded and kissed him before he left the room.

Rachel walked Sirius to the door. "You're a great guy, Sirius. You need to reconsider the whole marriage and children thing."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm better off being the crazy uncle who gets the kids out of trouble with the parents." Putting his hand gently on her stomach, he leaned down a bit. "I hope you don't mind me coming around a bit after this one's born. I'd like to meet her."

"I insist on it. Her watchdog needs to be here, right?"

Looking up, he grinned. "Right." Squatting a bit, he spoke to her stomach, never taking his hand off. "Listen, Ria. You take good care of this woman. She's a good one, and she'll never let anything happen to you. One day, I'll bring Harry around, and you two can get into all kinds of trouble together." Standing back up, his eyes widened as he looked at Rachel, who looked as amazed.

"She kicked."

"She approves of Harry already." That grin was back. "Bye Rachel. Take care of Ria and Ethan." He moved in and kissed her cheek. "Love you," he whispered before moving out the door. This time, she just shut the door and leaned against it, placing her hand where his had been just moments before.

"Ria," she tried out the name, "that man is going to be the death of me." She walked to the kitchen to clean up, never seeing the sad, hazel eyes following her from his place in the hallway.

* * *

**June 25, 1980**

"She's beautiful, Rachel. Look at that hair!" Ethan grinned down at his wife, who, with teary eyes, looked back at him.

"I know! Bless her, she'll never have a good hair day!" Rachel kissed her daughter's forehead, enjoying the stillness of the room. Her daughter had been born eight hours ago, and the family had just left, promising to be back tomorrow, leaving Ethan, Rachel, and Maria by themselves.

The nurse came in to check mother and daughter. "Mrs. Howard, we're taking your daughter back to the nursery. We'll bring her back to you throughout the night for her feedings."

"Night, love. See you tomorrow." Rachel watched them take her daughter with a sigh. "Thank you, Ethan."

He looked confused. "For what?"

"For making me quit my job. Going to classes will be hard enough. I'd never be able to leave her all day every day. Also, I'm glad we didn't wait. I love her too much already."

Ethan laughed. "Me too, love. She's perfect, isn't she?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

**July 31, 1980**

"Why aren't they telling us anything?" Sirius paced back and forth, driving the other men in the room crazy.

"Padfoot, calm down! Poppy's done this before! Lily's fine, and James is in there with her! You're making me nervous, mate!" Remus walked up behind his friend and laid his hand on his shoulder. "Wormtail, a little help, mate?"

"I've got nothing for you. I'm a little anxious myself. Another James Potter running around?" Peter grinned.

Sirius stopped and smiled. "No, another marauder! Hogwarts won't know what hit it in eleven years! Especially if Frank and Alice's boy is just as mischievous!"

Moony raised a brow. "Frank's boy? You do remember that you're talking about Frank Longbottom, right? Mr. Auror himself, who's married to Alice, who's an Auror as well. That poor kid will have rules instilled in him at an early age!"

Sirius grinned. "Exhibit A: Lily Evans, bookworm extraordinaire!"

"Who gave us hell for over six years, mate. She hated our pranks," Peter pointed out.

"No, she just hated Prongs. Know the difference." He was just about to go into another argument when a cry filled the air. The three men stood at attention as James ran out.

"He's here! Harry's here, and he's…he's perfect! Looks just like me!" James kissed Sirius on the cheek before running back in.

Sirius shook his head. "Yep, we've lost him."

However, an hour later, as he was holding his godson in his arms, Sirius realized something else: he'd do anything for this boy. Hell, he'd drop his wand and take on Voldemort himself before he'd let anyone hurt Harry.

"Harry James Potter, no one, and I mean _no one_ will ever hurt you as long as I'm living. I'd go to hell and back...hell, I'd die for you, Harry. Don't you ever forget it."


End file.
